7 Hilariously Batsh*t Things David "Avocado" Wolfe Believes

2. Warm Fuzzies And Sneaky Lies


At first glance David Wolfe’s Facebook page looks like the end result of a hate-f*ck between the Twitter accounts of Jayden Smith and Amanda Bynes. It’s a steaming mess of pseudoscientific nonsense, pseudo-profound bullsh*t and warm fuzzy quotes from other people with his logo on it. It’s also the cleverest marketing tactic ever created, that has netted him over 7 million targets/fans.

You post a cute adorable quote that people will share, in order to reach other people and have them share it, which increases your views and likes and when you have enough likes BAM! poop storm of crazy. Chocolate sun octaves, super intelligent mushroom, levitating deer antlers and a WhatCulture contributor on the fast track to an alcohol problem.

Dan over at A Science Enthusiast calls this “The David Avocado Wolfe Effect”:

“Exhibit A (as of this post) has about 41,000 likes and 75,000 shares. And I’ll admit, it’s cute. It hits you in that one spot right in your feels and gets those brain juices churning if you take a second to think about it. Plus, if you don’t like Dr. Seuss, the terrorists win. So as it gets shared and more people enjoy the content, they’ll toss the page a “like.” Over time, this adds up. As he gets more followers, he gets more shares, which get him even more followers and more shares. He’s averaging about 55,000-60,000 new “likes” a week based on this model (or maybe he’s buying likes? Who knows?). The issue becomes when David decides to deviate from this model and dabble in some good, old-fashioned pseudoscience. I think of it as a “bait and switch” model. He sucks the casual Facebooker in with the cute meme, then blindsides them with !*$%.”

The worst thing about writing about David Wolfe is that I already used my favourite joke to describe Alex Jones in a previous article (he must have been born on a highway, because that’s where accidents happen) so I can’t really use it again, on the flip side, with the amount of people who have told me they had the urge to drink before 10am after reading about him - we're going to have one hell of a party to go to after this is published.

Posted On: 

Science. Coffee. Metalhead. Woman-shaped Nerd. Must love cats. Sometimes Sober. High-five me at: www.facebook.com/InsufferableIntolerance