8 Basic Functions That Humans Totally Fail At

9. Giving Birth


How is it that most of the animal kingdom can seemingly pop a sprog out at the drop of a hat, but human childbirth require hours of excruciating pain, half a dozen trained professionals and a lot of shouting at your significant other?

The difficulty, danger and pain that women face during childbirth is due to something called the obstetric dilemma. This refers to the conflict between two evolutionary developments in humans. 

The first is the shift to bipedalism that led to the narrowing of the pelvis and therefore restricting the birth canal, to allow us to walk on two legs. The second is the increase in head size as humans evolved to be more and more intelligent. It is because of these two factors that humans need more assistance in childbirth, but, luckily enough, we evolved enough socially to mean that we're capable of that too.

This is also the reason why babies are cute-yet-useless blobs of blubber when they are born. Most animals will be up and running away from lions within minutes of birth, but humans require literally years of training to get up to speed. This is because we are born with completely underdeveloped brains to allow us even the remotest chance of squeezing ourselves out of our poor, long-suffering mothers.

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