5 Worst Premier League Transfers This Summer (So Far)

Over-rated, over-priced and over-the-hill.

Falcao Chelsea
chelsea

To any self-respecting football fan, the football-barren summer months are a wasteland of endurance as inferior sports are paraded out in the parks, exhibited across green spaces, demonstrated on a baffling array of pitches and advertised on our television screens. The only glimmer of an oasis in the mirage of these peculiar summer sports is the transfer of one players' Football Association registration from one club to another, or as Jim White calls it: The Transfer Window.

Never-the-less, a bit of money is actually exchanged in return for a player to kick a ball in a different coloured shirt, a few zeros are taken off one spreadsheet and added to another, press conferences are called and platitudes are spouted by the incoming media trained drone/professional footballer. 

This is all very exciting for fans during the summer malaise, if bragging rights and mockery can't be had over actual results & performances, then transfer signings are the next best thing & here is a list of the big Premier League transfers that are most likely to bring joy to every fan in the league, other than the ones of the club they've signed for.

5. Bastian Schweinsteiger

Falcao Chelsea
Ted S. Warren/AP

8 time winner of the Bundesliga, 7 time winner of the German cup, winner of the Champions League, Bavarian legend and World Cup winner, Bastian Schweinsteiger was deemed surplus to requirements over 35 yeard old Xabi Alonso. He's cost United £14.4 million and has somehow passed a medical despite his ankle having undergone more surgery than Joan Rivers.

The Premier League is no retirement home for former European heavyweights like MLS or the A-League, it's a fast, physically combative league & Schweinsteiger is no spring chicken, or 'stubenkuken'. The move has clearly been dictated by Van Gaal's relationship with the player during their time at Bayern but unfortunately Schweinsteiger simply isn't the player he once was. 

The Schneidsteiger/Schweinderlin double signing is baffling, Schneiderlin is arguably the most astute signing of the window and everything Manchester United need in their midfield, something Schweinsteiger was, five years ago.

Contributor
Contributor

Football; I write about it, to varying degrees of success. West Ham correspondent for What Culture.