Football without rumour is like a car without an engine. A hot air balloon without hot air. A bike without that annoying bell on the handlebars. You get the picture.
Picture a transfer window where the rumour mill ceases to churn, the grapevine isn't bursting with juicy gossip berries and the hyperbole hurricane doesn't sweep through town causing wanton destruction at its every swirl. It would be awfully bleak, let's be honest.
Thankfully, to our eternal peril, there is never a dull day on Tyneside and at the blink of an eye a rumour wildfire can spread quicker than Joe Kinnear can 'lose' a phone or Alan Pardew can whip out a pre-loaded excuse in front of the cameras.
Staying on topic, we've been treated to some humdinger's in years gone by covering alleged superstar arrivals to St James' Park and multi-million pound takeovers that have never come to fruition. Give me a football fan who doesn't love to speculate!
With that in mind we've compiled the 10 Most Ridiculous Rumours involving Newcastle that never actually happened.