When the EUROs come around, we are inevitably treated with reams and reams of words dedicated to the tournament, and the best moments and players involved. Some people celebrate skill, some technique and some hard-work. Here, instead of being analytical, we decided to undermine it all with a look at the most “interesting” looking footballers at EURO 2012.
We’ve gone for a very attacking 4-3-3, with a lot asked of the defence, but with a collection of faces like those on show here, most opponents will be far from happy running towards the back-line anyway. Similarly, the added attacking potency offered by the three-pronged strike-force will make any number of leaked goals less of a concern.
So here we go, the EURO 2012 Ugly Stick Team. It might be a little cruel, and we should judge the players on their abilities alone, but where’s the fun in that?! Don’t get angry, it’s just for giggles.
Manager – Roy Hodgson
Ironically enough, if Harry Redknapp had won the opportunity to manage his country, this would have been an easier choice, but the selection committee made sure England won the Ugliest Manager of the Tournament gong by employing half-man, half-barn owl Roy Hodgson instead. Perhaps his features are something to do with all the inexplicable face rubbing he did at Liverpool. To be fair, if he wins the tournament for England – and silences the ridiculously venomous media response to his appointment and preparations for the Euros – I will happily kiss his wrinkly little face until Andy Carroll scores ten goals in the Premier League.
Goalkeeper – Eduardo [Portugal]
Sporting some Mr Potato Head style ears stuck on the side of his head with apparently no eye for aesthetic design. Other than that not a bad look, but it’s too difficult to ignore those lugs. Eduardo, who plays his club football Benfica also has that Eastern European henchman look favoured by Luc Besson for disposable goons – perhaps a career change awaits when he hangs up his gloves?
Next Up: The Defence
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