Recently, we ranked every Premier League home kit, with the very clear criteria being that the further they deviated from tradition, the worse they were. In an ideal world, every team would wear an exact replica of a jersey from 1972. But this clearly isn't one.
For change strips however, this stringent set of rules is flung as far out the window as possible. Unless you're one of the tiny handful of teams who boast a long-established alternative kit, there's absolutely no reason for subtlety or restraint here: the more radical, risky, and downright degenerate the better.
We want colours B&Q only mix up on special order. We want eccentric patterns which would make Jackson Pollock balk. We want all concessions to common sense and good taste firmly ignored - and we want to pay £60 for the privilege.
Still, there IS a line to be drawn, and we reserve the right to hypocrisy. One or two kits this season really test the limits of ludicrousness. Sadly, the majority are disappointingly mundane.
In fact, there's only one truly eye-popping number being displayed on the Premier League's change kit catwalk. Some have described it as a 'disgrace'. We disagree.
If you haven't already skipped ahead to the juicy pictures, what are you waiting for? That hypocrisy we were talking about? It begins at the bottom of the list - with what's sure to be an unpopular choice...