West Ham 2-0 Newcastle – Player Ratings And Analysis

The last time these two sides met the scenario was slightly different. Newcastle United were ninety minutes away from relegation should they drop points against the Hammers and Hull managed to beat Manchester United at the KC Stadium. Tonight, things were different. Both sides have had a face lift, they've injected a large helping of transfer window botox into their vulnerable areas and taken their bleak, pale and ageing managers for a more vibrant spray tan. Yet, as West Ham United revelled in their rejuvenated healthy glow, Newcastle seemed overcooked with large patches of dry, uninspiring football and two holding midfielder's and a right-back who appeared agonised by a Dmitri Payet-shaped blister. The Magpies' performance longed for a midfield general, a 2011-12 Cheick Tiote or at the very least someone who doesn't get away with being constantly four-yards behind the ball simply because he was born in Gateshead. Daryl Janmaat, Vurnon Anita, Georginio Wijnaludum and Jack Colback were all at fault for the Hammers' opener as all four half-heartedly attempted to win the ball leaving the French international free to masterfully curl the ball past Tim Krul. Early in the second half, Steve McClaren's side continued to be ripped apart by West Ham's turbo-charged midfield and couldn't cope with Victor Moses' 60 yard run that eventually led to the Nigerian striking the crossbar and Payet slotting home the rebound for his second of the night. Is it time to panic? You tell me. Newcastle now sit bottom of the Premier League, Steve McClaren is yet to record a league victory and the side haven't scored since the opening day of the season - all of this with a manager that isn't John Carver and a Chairman who showed a fair bit of ambition throughout the summer. What do I think? Yes, it's time to panic but at least no one was sent off. Here is my Newcastle United match ratings...