What you will read below should be considered more as a warning dedicated to real hardcore Whovians. At one or other point (in time and space, of course) you probably considered that your Whomania is cool, and that it would be probably even cooler to use some coolness that it gives you in real life. The fact that no one before you has done it means only you are a true visionary, and that it would work wonders on ladies. While waiting for my trial, I can give you a few heads up as February is getting closer and you probably would like to watch your favourite episode with someone beside you.

As all my wonderful dating tips I like to keep to myself (why would I tell you how I am planning to become Karen Gillan’s next husband?), I’m going to show you only four ideas that are simply wrong on many different levels. If you are as dedicated to being a Doctor Who fan as I am, you probably have considered them as good ideas at some point in the past, or perhaps you still use them to pick up a girl in a bar; in that case this is definitely the article for you. Avoid mistakes mentioned by me and this year’s 14th of February may be your luckiest day…



4. Doctor Who Pick-Up Lines

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You really need me to explain it? Does “Do you want to see my sonic screwdriver?” sound correct on ANY level? Not to mention any references to the size of the TARDIS inside in comparison to the outside. Yes, this is a very tasteless joke, but I had to get it out of my system in order to continue. I think the only, even remotely acceptable line, would be about driving her home in your TARDIS, or if you really must, you can use, “Baby, I’m the best that can happen to you, and believe me, I’ve seen what can happen and unhappen to you…”, because sometimes “Have we met before?” is just taking the boring street…

So try not to be too creative in your Who pick-up lines, and make sure that any Who words you use can’t be used against you in a sexual harassment suit.

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This article was first posted on January 23, 2013