6 Hellblazer Storylines Too Weird For Constantine

Let's face it - not everything John Constantine does is TV-friendly.

So the television news is still abuzz with the upcoming series Constantine, produced by NBC with the pilot episode due to début on October 24th. The show is an adaptation of DC Vertigo's Hellblazer series about everyone's favourite liverpudlian mage John Constantine. Unlike more conventional occult investigators like Stephen Strange, Constantine was a chain-smoking cynical con artist, relying mostly on lies and manipulation. Prior to the reboot in New 52 Constantine rarely used magic and often got his friends killed due to his addiction to the occult. The series looks to be a much more faithful adaptation than 2005€™s Constantine, with leading man Matt Ryan looking the part and sporting an accent at least from the British Isles. Long-standing Constantine nemesis Nergal is confirmed to be a factor as well as, for some odd reason, Dr Fate. However, there are some storylines from the comic that it€™s safe to say won€™t be in the series. Hellblazer ran for over twenty years and in that time produced some of the goriest, most twisted and just plain weird story arcs in a medium known for weird. While you could get entire seasons out of say Dangerous Habits or Highwater there are several stories just unsuitable for a television adaptation, starting with...

6. Son Of Man

Fans of the comic may have been disappointed to see Constantine leave Ravenscar Mental Hospital after a formal consultation, as opposed to being dragged out by cockney gangsters. In Son of Man crime boss Harry Cooper busted John out after his son Ronnie was killed in a car accident. Cooper thought Constantine could bring his boy back from the dead - which he couldn€™t - but instead John tricked a demon into possessing the boy€™s body and playing the part. Harry Cooper got his son back and Constantine was not horribly murdered, which is basically a happy ending if you discount the hard-to-control incubus now at the heart of a London crime family. Needless to say, things eventually went south years later when €˜Little Ronnie€™ shook loose of Constantine€™s control. He impregnated Harry and set off a bloody gang war to set the stage for the birth of the Antichrist. It€™s a shame we won€™t see this happen though, as Son of Man is one of Garth Ennis€™s more solid storylines outside Dangerous Habits. Yet solid or not, there€™s no way NBC is going to portray the level of sexual violence shown here.
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"We're gonna need a bigger boat." Into cult films, comics, video games, television and genre fiction.