4. Limited Clothing Options

7 klingons

It would suck to shop for a Klingon partner. In every episode of Star Trek TOS, TNG, DS9 or (shudder) Voyager, I have NEVER seen a Klingon in leisure wear. Worf wears his or another uniform in every episode and the other Klingons all look like they buy their body armour from “Klingon Army Surplus”. How can you go shopping for people like this? Think Lursa and B’Etor again.

That’s worse – the women dress the same way too! Even their night attire comes equipped with chain mail, spikes (in seductively arranged locations) and knuckle-duster gloves! You’re not a Klingon unless your clothes look like they can either take a heap of punishment or dish it out in return. Would you like to be on the receiving end of that? Not bloody likely. Imagine: you go to a Klingon clothing store, find your partner’s size and then make your final decision on the basis of how much it would hurt you if she wore that.

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This article was first posted on October 28, 2013