Star Trek: 7 Reasons Families On A Starship Are A Bad Idea

James T Kirk, was surely the very model of a 23rd-century progressive and understanding man of the future. He may…

George Meixner

Contributor

James Kirk Shatner

James T Kirk, was surely the very model of a 23rd-century progressive and understanding man of the future. He may have been a staunch advocate of maternity flexi-time and equal rights for women but, spreading intergalactic progeny throughout one’s starship, be it the Enterprise, Enterprise-D or Voyager, should not be accommodated in the Star Fleet Code of Conduct.

To seek out new life, when digitally inscribed by Star Fleet Command, presumably implied that the new life would be found outside the ship, not popping left, right and centre inside the ship. There is a comments box if you dare to disagree.

The following arguments are based on the logic of families on starships, please do not mistake flippancy for misogyny… this is my first article and I’d like to make it to a second!

 

7. Does No-one Remember The Titanic?

Art Titanic Movie Lifeboats 420x0

Shall I compare these ships? Let me count the ways. A landmark voyage, on a state of the art vessel with a course set for a distant destination it would never reach, carrying families, men women and children. Hmm… familiar.

Let’s not quibble on StarFleet contingency plans for escape pods, but we all know the kerfuffle that would be caused when the call for “women and children first” is announced after something disastrous occurs with accompanying red lights and juddery cinematography. Let’s be honest, it happened every episode.

Imagine Kirk at this point is elbowing his way to the pods, while Spock and Tuvok are holding back, admiring the logic of the protocol. It would be carnage. Women and children dragged out of bed every other day because the hull has been breached… again.

Spare a thought for the indeterminate-gendered characters. What do sentient humanoids such as The Doctor (Robert Picardo),  Data or Seven of Nine do? OK, I think the costume department stress the ex-Borg’s assets, but she is part machine. There wouldn’t be much time for any full debate on advanced gender roles. The crisis red-lighting is probably not the best environment for one anyway.