Marnie, with the help of Hannah and Adam (mostly Adam), follows through on her promise to move out of the apartment. Marnie doesn’t have much of a plan, but she thinks that to be good for herself. We all think that, Marnie. Maybe except for Hannah, who sits on the stoop of the apartment as she watches Marnie leave her behind, in more ways than one.
Hannah checks back in with her now board line clingy boyfriend. What were the Vegas odds of Adam becoming Annie Wilkes in Misery attached back in the days of episode two? Probably close to 25:1. She admits to Adam that she feels guilty about her situation with Marnie. Adam, being the blunt man that he is, tells Hannah that wasting time on guilt just holds you back, and every time she sheds a toxic relationship, she’s one step closer to becoming who she’s meant to be. Ironically, Adam’s words of advice seems to apply more to Marnie than they do to Hannah. Adam casually suggests that he move in to fill the void left in the apartment. Hannah doesn’t react either way to the suggestion. Well, she makes out with him, which I suppose could be taken one of two ways: 1) “I’m trying to distract from the fact that I’m really concerned about my long-term future with Adam.” or 2) “I would like to have sex because I think you have a nice penis.”
We find Marnie unpacking her stuff to stay with… wait, is that Peggy’s lesbian friend from Mad Men? I’d been wondering where she’s been. No, it’s Peggy’s lesbian friend’s alter ego: Shoshanna. Marnie gives her gratitude for letting her stay while she finds a new place to live. Shohanna, apparently still high on the crack she smoked at that Bushwick party, spastically lets Marnie know she can stay forever. “Please. Stay forever.”
There’s a mysterious party that everyone’s been invited to by Jessa. Peggy’s lesbian fri– er, Shoshanna and Marnie wait outside, both dressed in ambiguously nice outfits. Charlie, Marnie’s ex, and Ray, Shoshanna’s crack guardian angel, walk by and awkward hellos/sexual tension ensue. They meet Hannah and head inside, where Ray guesses it’s an Eye’s Wide Shut party, a reference that he gets major, hilarious points for.
Bobby Moynihan shows up as… no, we’re just going to call him Bobby Moynihan. Chris O’Dawd comes down from his fancy Brooklyn apartment as Thomas– A.K.A the dude who tried to have a threesome with Jessa and Marnie. Jessa comes out in what looks like a wedding dress someone would wear if they were having a ceremony in the middle of Woodstock. It seems after two weeks and no previous mention of any kind of relationship at all, the two are getting married. Boy, oh boy. Another one of Hannah’s friends takes a (humongously random) step forward into real adulthood, while Hannah is left behind watching.
Jessa and Thomas exchange vows. Marnie, although surprised, laughs off whatever shock she’s feels and lets herself have fun. Marnie reconciles with Hannah’s gay ex Elijah, has a playful, albeit weird sex-driven exchange with Charlie (Where he makes the classic “I was kidding if you were kidding, but if you really want to fuck, I’m down.” move. Well played, Charlie), and in the most spontaneous moment of Marnie’s existence, allows herself to eat cake… with her hands! How raw can this show possibly get? Oh, and she makes out with Bobby Moynihan. Throughout the season, we wondered whether or not any of the frustratingly selfish characters of Girls would ever change. Marnie proved, at least in the beginning stages, that she’s capable of letting herself progress and move forward with her life.
Meanwhile, Peggy’s lesbian friend from Mad Men, alter-ego Shoshanna, is furious because she can’t figure out how she got from AMC to HBO. Ray approaches her and she lets him know that not only is she angry that she’s switched networks and is trapped in another show, but everyone around her “is a dumb whore.” Ray let’s her know that he hasn’t stopped thinking about her since they met (She asks if he’s “Punking her.” High-five for ’02 MTV Ashton Kutcher references), and he wants to spend the night with her. She agrees, but only if he stays out of her emotional way. And if he gives her subway directions to the Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce office.
Adam is emotionally affected throughout the wedding, while Hannah is emotionally detached. At one point, Adam and Hannah slow dance. In the middle of dancing, Hannah imitates Beyonce’s moves in the Halo music video (Judging by those skills, Lena Dunham could’ve been quite convincing as Nina in Black Swan). Adam pulls Hannah close to him again, and lets her know she needs to save her energy, because they’re in it for the long haul. In one of the best small moments of the entire show, Hannah leans into Adam’s chest. We see a small glimpse of Adam’s face, who couldn’t be happier to be in that very moment, juxtaposed with Hannah’s, who couldn’t be more confused about her feelings if someone said “You can only eat one of these for the rest of your life. Ice cream or cake. Which is it?”
Hannah and her (gay) ex Elijah discuss how he gave her HPV, and that they should move in together. I can pretty much garuntee this is the only time those two have ever been discussed in the same conversation. Elijah agrees to move in next week. She tells Adam that he doesn’t have to worry about moving in anymore. Hannah continues to be the most oblivious, self-involved person on the face of the planet. Adam, stung by this, tells Hannah he was offering because he loves her, but Hannah doesn’t associate “that” with their relationship. That’s not how they are. Adam, of course, storms out with a classic Adam line: “Pull my hair back if you’re going to fuck me from behind.”
While Bobby Moynihan brings the wedding cake with tiny Jessa and Thomas on it, Hannah is on the verge of tears. Marnie, also watching the cutting of the cake, see’s Hannah’s upset. She asks her, “Are you okay?” Hannah responses that she doesn’t know. Marnie doesn’t flinch, and turns back to enjoy herself and watch the cutting of the cake. Hannah can’t believe how happy Marnie looks. She stares at Marnie for a few beats, but Marnie doesn’t even acknowledge Hannah’s look. Why? She’s not concerned. She’s too busy having fun to be weighed down by Hannah’s problems. She’s spent the last nine episodes dealing with them. Last week, they argued about which of them was the wound. This week, there’s no doubt about it.
After the wedding, Hannah finds Adam to try and reconcile with him. She apologizes and offers him left-over wedding cake in return for forgiveness. Hannah just doesn’t get it. Adam attacks her and tells her that she loves herself so much, and he doesn’t understand why she can’t believe someone else would love her. But Hannah doesn’t love herself. She says she’s scared. More scared than most. The most scared person alive. Give me a break. Adam paces back and forth in the street. Cars fly by. There’s a bad feelings in the air. Adam tells her that she doesn’t know what real struggle is because she’s 11 pounds overweight (which Hannah appropriately corrects, 13). As we could all feel something bad was going to happen, Adam, appropriately, gets hit by a car.
Ray and Shoshanna get it in. Yup.
An ambulance comes from Adam. He refuses to let Hannah come for the ride to the hospital. The ambulance drives off. Adam tells the paramedic to not let her in. “She’s a monster,” he says in a moment of complete honesty.
Hannah gets on the F train alone and lets herself fall asleep on the subway. Two long shots of New York City at night. The city that Hannah idealizes so much is all she has left. When she wakes up, the subway has stopped and her purse has been stolen. She wakes up, completely unaware of where in her beloved city she is. An undiscovered neighborhood, parallel to Hannah’s current state of life. Hannah walks all through the night, gripping onto the only thing she has left: a piece of wedding cake wrapped in aluminum foil. You’ve got to admire the persistence to hold onto that cake.
Girls is a show about people growing into themselves. Marnie has taken her step forward to becoming the person she wants to be by letting herself be herself. Shoshanna finally has her virginity taken (and we learn Peggy’s lesbian friend likes penis. Shocker of the year!). Jessa is married. Adam let his walls down. If everyone around Hannah is taking steps to becoming who they are, where does that leave the show’s main character?
Morning comes and Hannah reaches the beach. She walks across the sand, leaving footprints behind. Footprints that will soon be washed away by the ocean’s water. She takes a seat and decides it’s a good time to eat. her cake. For Hannah’s sake, it’s time she realizes she can’t have the cake and eat it too.