10 Bizarre WrestleMania Moments That Will Make 36 Look Normal
In which the toughest dude in WWE is not Brock Lesnar.
WrestleMania 36 is going to be so weird. So, so weird.
The arrival of Rob Gronkowski on SmackDown felt suitably feverish for these times. It is as if WWE is peeling, removing layers of sanity from itself in a painful sweat-soaked nightmare, from live pro wrestling show to eerie, everything-is-fine empty arena emulation to whatever the f*ck that was. Fans switched over to Fox to watch pro wrestling and instead stumbled into the Gronk's OnlyFans, wondering why anybody would pay a premium fee to watch a horned-up frat-boy dry-humping his way into an empty gym with a wrestling ring in it. He mimicked shagging the ring post as Michael Cole smiled in appreciation. Can you imagine if this were a no-name FCW grad on the original NXT?
"This goof likes wrestling more than those freaks with the replica belts," Cole would say, as Josh Matthews sniggered.
This is the man who is guest hosting WrestleMania 36. He is going to compensate for the lack of atmosphere by being incredibly annoying for two straight days. He is going to introduce epic slogs that will bend the space-time continuum with farcical melodrama. He is going to react to the customary surprise appearance - Hulk Hogan or something - by excitedly humping midair, like a dog with four d*cks.
It still won't be quite as weird as...
10. What Storyline?
Loathe though I am to cast my mind back to a Triple H match right now - a never-ending event enveloped in eerie silence is precisely that which most wish to escape - his match with Sting belongs on this list.
It was in many ways a very WWE thing to do - the most WWE thing to do, in fact, or even several very WWE things in one segment - but it was still perplexing when analysed on a stricter, non-WWE principle. The preceding storyline saw the legendary Sting surface in WWE in vengeance mode, intent on putting an end to Triple H, the Authority, and its suffocating hold on talent. It was a neat, in-character motive for the debuting Sting, the storyline had played itself out, and Triple H lost at WrestleMania all the time anyway.
And then, on the night itself, Triple H was assisted in the match by DX, Sting by his nemeses in the nWo (!), and the the whole scene devolved into a tired Monday Night Wars retread won, of course, by WWE, because dubya see dubya sucked.
This was pointless, arrogant, damaging - a glorified retro RAW angle penned by sad old men reliving former glories, and it was still the longest match on the card, because Triple H is just the worst.