10 Dumbest Wrestling Name Changes

A rose by these names smells like sh*t.

Steve Austin Ringmaster
WWE.com

What's in a name? In wrestling, it's everything.

Pick the wrong moniker - or as the case often is in WWE, have the wrong moniker lumbered on you - and you are, to quote Drew Galloway, f*cked. Consider Andrade "Cien" Almas. The man was on fire in Mexico prior to his arrival in NXT as La Sombra, the antecedent of Tetsuya Naito. Fast forward to his debut, and with a name as clunky as a Shinsuke Nakamura-through-a-mouthguard promo and deeply regrettable Double J-inspired get-up, he confused more than he entertained.

Everything about Andrade "Cien" Almas, a dishonourable mention, is wrong. 'Andrade Almas' is one syllable too long to chant aloud. The addition of 'Cien' - Spanish for 'Hundred' - is either a blatant ripoff of Hiroshi Tanahashi's 'Once In A Century Talent' nickname, a weird and incomprehensible attempt to pilfer meme culture, or something altogether lost in translation. To English speaking fans, he might as well be called Timothy 'Hundred' Montgomery. 'Cien' also ruins the alliteration, about the only good thing the name had going for it.

Aleister Black, brimming with occult connotations, is the modern mutatis mutandis - but, to underline the fine, erm, line, choosing a colour as your surname is sometimes disastrous...

10. The Ringmaster

Steve Austin Ringmaster
WWE

'Stunning' Steve Austin, an entertaining and colourful heel as one half of the awesome Hollywood Blondes tag team, was fired by WCW in 1995 while on the shelf. This infuriated him, understandably, and he rid himself of the pent-up vitriol in a spate of seminal promos during his ECW sojourn. He proved himself to be far, far more than the unmarketable, colourless technician that Executive Vice President Eric Bischoff perceived him to be...

...so the WWF hired him to play an unmarketable, colourless technician. Ted DiBiase was installed as his mouthpiece; those searing anti-Bischoff, anti-Hogan promos counted for nought. Possibly worse than the decision to silence the emerging promo man in all of wrestling was his rebranding. 'Stunning' Steve was renamed, notoriously, as the 'Ringmaster' - more or less a synonym of "very good wrestler," which you'd think was a prerequisite for working for the "recognised leader in global sports entertainment".

It bombed. Incredibly, Austin was almost lumbered with a worse name than that. He was offered the chance to portray "Frost McFang" or "Chilly McFreeze" when he announced his desire to play a more cold-blooded, ruthless character. Mericfully for him, in a flash of serendipity, his then-wife urged him to drink his tea lest it turn "stone cold". An entire floor of office staffers couldn't conceive of something so inspired.

The more things change...

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!