Big four pay-per-view or not, anticipation for this Sunday's SummerSlam is running about as hot as Bonfire Night excitement in the Fawkes' household.
It's unlikely anyone will get set on fire, but as this point, that'd liven up proceedings. Instead, we're staring down the prospect of three Extreme Rules rematches, a women's title match sullied by the necessary inclusion of its champion, and a main event sure to play before crickets for its hour-long running time, perhaps designed as such to provide brand synergy with the show's primary sponsor (a certain wireless company, if that's not clear).
Even the promising matches have had the life sucked out of them through context. We all know there's no hope in hell of AJ Styles and Samoa Joe going on last, a potentially superb encounter between Rusev and Andrade Almas will prop up commercials with the presence of two valets beyond their comfort zone, and the surging bad blood between Daniel Bryan and The Miz has been entirely drained to the point of anaemia by WWE's vampiric booking team.
Beyond the card though, there're still a few glimmers of interest - as ever, within the grubby pages of the dirt sheets. The matches may not look appetising, but these spicy rumours are. Will a raft of superstars go rogue? And will a (different, less evil) raft return? Let's see what's been trending ahead of the Brooklyn blow-off.
Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know).
He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.