WrestleMania 34 was so shocking it's a wonder Fred Ottman didn't fall through the curtain, which would have proved a welcome distraction from a nine minute Nia Jax match.
Charlotte Flair ended Asuka's streak so decisively that the Empress lost her tomorrows. She tapped cleanly to the Figure Eight, despite having suffered little in the way of damage to her knee throughout the match. Strangely, Charlotte could barely apply the move, having endured a stiff kick onslaught to her shoulder in a finish that rendered Asuka weak. The 13 minute duration didn't help. Nor did the subsequent programme with Carmella, in which the sight of James Ellsworth terrified her more than any of her challengers in NXT.
Stephanie McMahon entered a better performance on the night than AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura (!), who could not live up to their literal Dream Match billing. Their match failed to exhilarate, though it did yield a shocking heel turn. Braun Strowman selected a young child as his partner before killing off The Bar and the RAW tag team division alike in four minutes. John Cena had just three minutes to do something of note with the Undertaker, and still managed a massive botch. That wasn't altogether shocking, actually.
In New Orleans, WWE smashed the reset button with their eyes closed.