10 Stars Who Changed The Way We Talk About Wrestling
It's such unforgettable sh*t!
One of the weirder ironies in modern wrestling is that so many words are uttered, across WWE's heavily scripted flagship programming and the bottomless expanse of social media - and yet so few actually resonate.
The sheer volume is precisely the reason why: with a writing room almost as stacked as catering, WWE has broken the infinite monkey theorem. There are several monkeys in that room - 30+, at last count - and yet, though this system has been in place for well over a decade and a half, they have yet to produce the complete works of Shakespeare. In fact, as RAW rolls on, the monkeys are closer to producing the complete works of Vince Russo.
Consider the recent forklift angle on SmackDown and, subsequently "developed" on social media. It is as hokey as all hell, and worse, there was nothing to sell in a delightfully over-the-top, JR-style way. This isn't so much BAH GAWD THEY KILLED 'IM!, but quietly, flatly, "I'm pretty sure Roman is OK, actually, come to think of it. Phew, glad that's over".
This writing team will never come close to scripting anything unforgettable. To truly make a lasting impression, true genius is required.
Or, conversely...
10. Steve Austin
Can you remember silence?
What?
It was great.
What?
It allowed us to be bored, but respectfully so.
What?
I said it allowed us to be bored, but respectfully so.
What?
When silence was a thing, every single middling WWE promo wasn't interrupted by deeply obnoxious chants of "What?"
What?
I said when silence was a thing, every single middling WWE promo wasn't interrupted by deeply obnoxious chants of "What?"
What?
The "What?" chant is even more obnoxious than a toddler relentless asking "Why?", because a toddler tends to grow out of it after a while. The "What?" chants show no signs of disappearing after 19 deeply tiresome years.
What?
This custom is so unbearable. It's so boorish. It is a thing that rude d*ckheads do, and they've been doing it for 19 years.
What?
The answer is simple: just shut the f*ck up and don't react, if something doesn't interest you. Verbalising boredom is something bratty little children do. You might as well stick your fingers in your ears and say "lalalalalalalalala".
What?
You people have conspired to make the decent among us half-resent Steve Austin, and yet you cry, wah wah, when Vince ruins your favourites.
F*ck you people.