10 Things WWE Superstars Need This Christmas
8. Cesaro - His Two Front Teeth
Long before Mariah Carey's frankly unbearable lyrical Amazon wishlist, Donald Yetter Gardner released a song outlining his own Christmas covetousness, ten times as twee but only half as schmaltzy. Gardner's only real desire, quite aside from a vague second-person pronoun, was to be able to whistle, or say "sister Susie sitting on a thistle" - courtesy of the restoration of his two front teeth.
Cesaro knows exactly who is to blame for his catastrophe, his own over-eagerness to French kiss a ring post leaving his mouth with more holes than Emmental. The Swiss lisp could be fixed with a little dental reconstruction - but he would have to discontinue those "Thwith Thyborg" t-shirts.