On December 17, 2018, our lives changed forever. The McMahon family stood, in that very ring, and imbued us with a profound responsibility - our ultimate dream job.
"We haven't been doing a very good job for you lately," said Stephanie McMahon, acknowledging WWE's pitiful creative output of internecine 50/50 midcard conflicts, passé authority figures, and various retconned storylines. "We're gonna give you what you want," Triple H added. And then, bowing as he gave us the pen: "As of now," he said, "you are the Authority."
Great! You, me: we are the Commissioners and General Managers of RAW and SmackDown Live!
Curiously, we didn't place a moratorium on distraction finishes. We didn't just let Bray Wyatt be Bray Wyatt, God guys, he's the next Undertaker. We didn't make Apollo Crews the next Paul Heyman Guy. We didn't have Chad Gable bring prestige back to the Intercontinental Title. We haven't - yet - booked the Undertaker Vs. Sting for New Jersey.
We didn't, after nearly seven years of blue balls, push Cesaro.
We didn't book an all-out NXT Vs. WWE invasion storyline, culminating in a Three Stages Of Hell (Hell In A Cell, Taipei Death, Vince McMahon/Triple H Contract In The Bank Ladder) five-on-five tag team match at WrestleMania 35.