10 Wrestling Moments Everyone Misunderstood As Kids
Yeah, wrestling's probably not for children.
Kids aren't stupid. This comes from a parent.
Kids, when you tell them they've had too many sweeties, sullenly bow their heads and say "OK Daddy. I will not have any more sweeties," like the expert manipulators they are, at which point you are made to feel like a monster for not giving them more sweeties. Kids stop responding to funny faces and noises about one year in. You can't coast on that sh*t. You have to devise actual bits to keep them from going apesh*t, because kids are discerning.
And that's why you don't see young kids in the RAW crowd popping like they're in Justin's House at Bobby's Sisters, or Bobby Lashley mocking Jinder Mahal's meditation lessons, or Bobby Lashley.
But kids are also blessedly naive, quick to see the goodness in everything. They think you're tired when you put them to bed, and you are. You suffer from chronic exhaustion, which probably doesn't help your perception of WWE's rotten main roster product, but you're also going to stay awake for as long as your body will allow in order to cherish about 45 minutes of me time. Kids are beautiful souls too pure this world, and much too pure for Vince McMahon's.
Kids also like to say 'Why?'
A lot...
10. Why Doesn't The Ultimate Warrior Look Like The Ultimate Warrior Anymore?
At WrestleMania VIII, the Ultimate Warrior returned, looking lean and mean, and came to the defence of Hulk Hogan, threatened as he was by the, erm, orbit of voodoo priest Papa Shango.
That wasn't good enough for a young audience drawn to the WWF and its preposterously muscled living superheroes. Why didn't Warrior's biceps look like balloons anymore? This new Warrior had also treated himself to a shorter haircut, which, because kids are also a bit stupid, let's face it, meant he must have died. That's a bigger leap than Shane McMahon ever managed.
WrestleMania VIII became the wellspring of a pervasive urban myth. It spread like wildfire through playgrounds across the western world. The WWF tried to pull a fast one, the kids said, and he didn't last long in the WWF thereafter because we were all wise to the con (and not because Warrior was suspiciously closer to his old self in the months that followed).
We all thought the old Warrior had been replaced by a new guy but yeah, no, he was renewing his steroid cycle.
How innocent we were.