10 WWE Stars With Laughably Bad Music Careers

PeroxWhy?Jeff?

Jeff Hardy Guitar
WWE.com

If you are expecting to see Michael 'PS' Hayes' 'Freebird Road' make an appearance on this list, then you are sadly mistaken.

The 'PS' might stand for 'Piece of Sh*t', but godd*mnit, the man sure can pen a country ballad that is at once gloriously corny and genuinely quite moving. The song starts as it means to go on with no less than three simultaneous opening arrangements designed to punish the heartstrings with the ol' southpaw suckerpunch: moaning saxophone, tinkling ivories, and lilting, mournful acoustic guitar. The more retrained musician usually employs just the one in order to convey that we we're about to get moved, not rocked. Not Hayes.

Definitely not Hayes.

The subsequent crooning harmonies convey both the seriousness of and affection towards the subject matter, as, in parallel, the heavenly gospel backing vocals reassure a pained Hayes that his fallen brother, Terry Gordy, is wrestling a handicap match with the Von Erichs up in the sky. Bittersweet mourning gives way to pure, c*ck-out, foot-on-the-amp celebration as it all comes crashing down with a "dun-dun" drum fill, power chords and a squalling guitar solo that, like Gordy's legacy, goes on forever.

Hayes can't lay out a Roman Reigns Vs. Brock Lesnar match to save his life, but he is no disgrace to the popular music arena.

Unlike...

10. Macho Man Randy Savage

Jeff Hardy Guitar
WWE.com

The less-celebrated sequel to the Mega Powers Explosion saw Macho Man Randy Savage call out Hulk Hogan not with a wrestling promo, but a rap song.

An amazingly terrible rap song.

Given that his most famous offering - 'Be A Man', from the self-titled album of the same name - is a diss track aimed at the Hulkster, the beat is a bit too chipper to convey any sense of menace. It sounds like an awful Eminem B-side. Savage seeks to impress early with a rapid-fire "hot diggity d*mn", instantly drawing an unflattering comparison to Twista, before launching his tirade proper. He also draws another unflattering comparison with his, ahem, appropriated language of "You used to be hard Hogan, now you done turned soft". Elsewhere, Savage's bars are less than savage, but almost endearing - "I'ma kick you in the button, wash your mouth out with soap" - though he does pick low-hanging fruit by mocking, without a hint of irony, Hogan's extracurricular entertainment exploits.

Honestly, it's not laughably bad, but that's likely bargaining because we so dearly love the Macho Man.

In the squared circle, not the rap game.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!