10 WWE Stars With Laughably Bad Music Careers
9. Hulk Hogan
Oddly, Savage did not take aim at Hulk Hogan's own awful attempt to forge a music career.
Hogan maintains that we he was once asked to join Metallica. This was a fantastical notion in itself, and one shot down immediately upon hearing his own brand of musicianship: the Hulk Rules album that boasted a title even more ironic than his "brother" epithet.
'Hulkster In Heaven' might have been a moving ballad penned in tribute to a fallen, young Hulkamaniac, had Hogan not smeared his fake eulogy with his usual brand of bullsh*t. Talk-singing like the rank amateur he is, Hogan mourns "I'll guess there'll be one empty seat when I wrestle at Wembley." The song was written for a terminally ill child Hogan had visited ahead of SummerSlam 1992. Hogan didn't appear on the card, was not scheduled to, and thus fabricated a dead child to sell records.
Mercifully, the remainder of the album is only a mere insult to taste; 'Beach Patrol' sees Hogan rap (!) about cruising for honeys on the sand and kicking the sh*t out of bullies. It's all dated record scratches and beats plagiarised from 16-bit video games, with Hogan hollering "Whoop there it is" about a million times throughout. Whoop, there it is: a musical atrocity.
'Hulk's The One' is great, though - a full-on Peter Engels slice of ultra-cheese. Probably because his ex-wife Linda sings it.