11 WWE WrestleMania 32 Match Predictions

So it's finally upon us. We're merely days away from WrestleMania 32, an event that could surprise even the most harried of doubters. That is, those willing to boo Roman Reigns' confetti celebration out of one side of their mouth while offering faint praise for WrestleMania's good matches from the other. Once the dust settles after Sunday night, it's off to the oft-frenzied post-WrestleMania edition of Raw, in which we're sure to hear many colorful derogatories volleyed at the office favorites, mostly from fans that have been half-lit since AXXESS on Thursday, After that, it's into the doldrums of a boring spring, by which point everyone will be wondering how WWE plans to screw up WrestleMania 33. While praising WrestleMania 32 as a surprisingly good show, mind you. May as well head into the marquee weekend examining all eleven planned matches (including the ones confined to the dreaded pre-show), and see if we can't pick winners for all eleven. While I'm no Nostradamus, my qualifications include 27 years of WWE viewership, including close attention paid since the PG era began. If I haven't developed reasonable pattern recognition by now, I'd be hopeless. With that said, let's go through the matches one by one and see how they'll end up playing out.

11. The Usos Will Defeat The Dudley Boyz

Seems like a safe bet, given that the Dudleyz have been nothing more than knockaround guys for Reigns in this spell. Their, "we're not using tables because screw you, that's why" shtick has already run dry, and they've continued to float along as the nostalgia act that they, in character, claim to not be. Such is the sudden nature of WWE storylines dropping like flies. Since the Usos have yet to experience the thrill and wonder of a WrestleMania main show, you may as well just give them the win here. Maybe a heel turn will be in order, where Jimmy and Jey scream to the fans, "When we say Uce, you better NOT say ohhh!" And the fans will basically be like, "aight."