13 WWE SummerSlam 2018 Results Predictions

12. He Came, He Cien, He Conquered

WWE

Zelina Vega's Street Fighter namesake was fond of mocking his fallen opponents with the taunt, "Handsome fighters never lose battles." That'll come as no consolation to her opponent 'Handsome' Rusev this weekend however, not least because it's largely irrelevant. We know the deal here, so let's not waste any time, and instead move straight on to Part V in our recurring series, No Fear, Sofia: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Bulgaria:

'Like Scotland's, Bulgaria's national instrument is a type of bagpipe, known as the 'gaida'. And also like Scotland's, it sounds f*cking terrible.'

If you're tired of the Bulgaria facts in lieu of any actual analysis about Rusev's big show matches, one, stop being such a xenophobe, and two, consider that he hasn't won on pay-per-view since December 2016. Following his title match with AJ Styles last month, he's now on the pre-show. It really isn't worth contemplating.

Prediction: Almas, poor Rusev, I knew him...

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.