If that curse seems unnecessarily crude (or alternatively the name of a rival independent event taking place in New Orleans in the run up to the 'Show Of Shows'), consider it in actuality a necessary evil to reflect both genuine excitement abounding about a potentially superlative supershow and the hint of foreboding dread based on the company's increased reliance on runtimes over fun times.
WrestleMania 34 will again attempt to be all things to all fans just as it has been since the advent of the WWE Network in 2014. Though capable of failing at every intended aim, it'll hope to enthral, engage and entertain and has at least assembled a card good enough to do just that.
The number of multi-person matches may draw unnerving comparisons with the tepid WrestleMania 2000, but the company seems simply too immune from the kind of millennium bug that ate away at that calamity from the inside. In 'Rowdy' Ronda Rousey, WWE have acquired a celebrity people genuinely want to see perform between the ropes. In Daniel Bryan, they've got an actual wrestler drawing similar anticipation. Elsewhere, at least one of the Women's Title clashes could deliver on unending promises of revolutions and revelations, whilst both shows' headliners are worthy enough of a headline spot that debate has raged since January on how WrestleMania will exit the air.
That, in fact is the only prediction you don't need to know. Roman's going on last, obviously. But as for the rest of the show...
Square eyes on a square head, trained almost exclusively to Pro Wrestling, Sunderland AFC & Paul Rudd films. Responsible for 'Shocking Plans You Won't Believe Actually Happened', some of the words in our amazing Wrestling bookazines (both available at shop.whatculture.com), and probably every website list you read that praised Kevin Nash.