5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (June 29)

What year is this?

JBL Undertaker
WWE.com

Quietly, the Women's (R)Evolution is beginning to resemble the dismal Divas division of yesteryear.

WWE initiated the whole PR exercise, in 2015, to #GiveDivasAChance (read: they suffered a social media backlash). Three years later, and the irony is becoming painfully apparent. Asuka - a formidable, charismatic and wholly unique pro wrestler dripping in sex appeal and mischievous swagger - happens to not be the favoured type of the office.

Asuka is Japanese.

She was both defeated and embarrassed by - for f*ck's sake - Carmella at Money In The Bank. Because WWE must protect those performers that they bury (!) with nonsensical non-finishes, Asuka confronted her doppelgänger. This, of course, was James Ellsworth, who is actually her opposite: a sexless goober custom-built for only half-decent undercard comedy segments.

At least Asuka has a chin on which to take it. This is her lot as a main roster performer; at the mercy of getting that imperative heat on awful heels - how else do we go through the episodic churn, if not giving our audience very painful blue balls? - she must be portrayed as a hapless moron gullible enough to fall for the same ruse twice. Maybe she was trapped there, frozen, in pure disbelief at how incredibly sh*tty the booking is. Or maybe WWE booking is completely terminal to those once thought bulletproof.

Asuka is a Japanese pro wrestler. Really, her demise was inevitable.

This may be because...

5. Vince McMahon: Senile?

JBL Undertaker
WWE Network

In an interview with Wade Keller on his Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Podcast, former WWE Creative Writer Kevin Eck shed light on both Vince McMahon's mentality and failing mental faculties.

Even in 2014, Vince referred to the female roster as "girls" - "girls" his audience did not wish to see "fight like the guys", which is strange. That audience hardly wanted to watch the Divas wrestle as Divas; they invariably used the pre-main event death slot segments to take a Michael Elgin. When preparing TV scripts, Vince would decide that he needed to "get some sexuality" on the show. Cue a Divas segment highlighting Vince's preferred type.

Vince likes thin blondes, apparently. His love of musculature does not extend to the female form, per Eck; Vince deemed Kaitlyn "unattractive". Bah Gawd! Jim Ross isn't the only guy able to gauge her sex appeal. And so, Carmella reigns supreme on SmackDown, basically ruining the only good thing of which WWE is capable in 2018: wrestling matches.

This explains the slow crawl back to the Divas mode. Vince does what Vince does, and will do what Vince always has...when he remembers. According to Eck, Vince struggles to remember key details, frequently asking his underlings what he did with "this guy" on last week's show. Perhaps he can't remember the boos Roman receives on a weekly basis.

Also, and this is particularly astonishing: Vince once forgot Brock Lesnar's finish. It's not as if the Beast boasts Teddy Hart's repertoire. He uses less moves than Kevin Nash. This also explains the inexplicable WrestleMania main event layout. Producer Michael Hayes simply recorded Vince, thinking out loud - "F...F...F...F...F...F5! That's it, pal!" - and took it literally.

It's a fantastical story, but one not without onscreen evidence. At RAW25, Vince lashed out at fans for...chanting his name respectfully.

Perhaps it's Vince who requires a meeting with Dr. Shelby, and not Bayley...

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!