5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (March 2)

In praise of...Stephanie...McMahon...

WWE

Stephanie McMahon is a...difficult performer to reconcile.

She is, 90% of the time, a superb heel. As passive aggressive as your least favourite in-law and with an hysterical squawk of which a pirate's pr*ck parrot sidekick would be proud, it is at times genuinely painful to watch her perform. She is simply and profoundly unpleasant, as neatly confirmed by her genetic inability to smile convincingly. There is no need even to administer the Voigt-Kampff test; this trait, shared by all the primates, eradicates any doubt that Steph is not a hollow replicant who only does nice things because "philanthropy is the future of marketing".

It doesn't help that Stephanie lives the gimmick. It seems she spouts corporate-sponsored bullsh*t every week, and this week was no different. Speaking on Lillian Garcia's podcast - usually a platform on which human beings relax and drop the odd casual insight or two - Stephanie toed the dumbest company line since wrestlers assemble to willingly bump for a dive spot.

"What Vince McMahon does better than anyone is listen to the audience," she said, as if heading up a press conference, and ignoring everything. Stephanie is detestable. If that is the point, Stephanie fails to underline it. Great at generating heat, she does as much with it as a broken boiler.

She must be bad, for she is the opposite of good. She did however do some good this week...

Contributor
Contributor

Former Power Slam Magazine scribe and author of Development Hell: The NXT Story - available NOW on shop.whatculture.com!

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