5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Nov 30)

A HEATwave in November.

Baron Corbin HEAT
WWE

How does one sabotage their own push? Let us count the ways.

Mabel was considered far too reckless in the ring by Diesel and the Undertaker, among others. Unlike Nia Jax, he wasn't pushed harder as a result of this; he wasn't distantly related to WWE royalty, nor did Vince McMahon hate everybody quite yet, and he wasn't remotely over. Rusev and Lana made their engagement public to TMZ, which didn't sit well with WWE officials. They could have made an angle of it on RAW, d*mn it, before it was revealed that Lana was a slut or something, and they were separated across brands.

Evan Bourne elected to smoke synthetic marijuana in an attempt to circumvent the pot tax, and was caught out. What a stupid drug to ruin a run over. At least Rob Van Dam ruined his push with the good stuff.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley hadn't worked out that he was but a bag carrier in 1996, and took the heat for the Curtain Call incident. It all worked out for him in the end: the Cerebral Shagger married the right woman, and now he rules the world. With Stephanie McMahon taken, Lars Sullivan can't go the same route to get over his problem...

...much, on the evidence of his lurid message board history, as he would like to...

5. Five Stars Lars With His Minus Five Stars Opinions

Baron Corbin HEAT
WWE Network

Pictured: Lars Sullivan trapped in the doghouse.

Say you've got a big job interview coming up. The first thing you should do is probably scan, or at least make unavailable to the public, your social media accounts. A picture of you out on the sesh, which we all do, is nonetheless not a good look to prospective employers.

Then, consider any potential conflicts of interest. It might be the case that you have a side business to which you could theoretically funnel clients, or something. Or, in the case of a certain prospective main roster powerhouse, locate your old message board posts and delete them.

Vince McMahon: Is there anything I should know before I call you up?

Lars Sullivan: I jerked off over your daughter once.

Vince McMahon: Me too, pal! Hahaha!

Vince McMahon may not care about Sullivan's sordid online history yet - but if sponsors catch a whiff of his rancid bullsh*t, he d*mn sure might. In addition to thanking Stephanie for the "very sexy fap vid" - what a lovely visual that is - Sullivan also referred to Bobby Lashley as a "horrible performer" and "clearly a steroid abuser". Endearing himself to Bobby Lashley even less, he also wrote that "some blacks want to take advantage of their great grandparent's misfortunes, and they want a piece of the pity pie."

"Misfortunes".

Yes, terribly unlucky to have been caught up in a near-century of enslavement. And those dumb black people shouldn't have cop gun magnets inside of them, either!

Saying also that 'KFC is for lower class people', and we wonder who he could possibly mean, Sullivan is, in several, several ways, not about to replace Shawn Michaels anytime soon. Using "extremely gay" as a slur in relation to NFL quarterback Philip Rivers, he claimed Rivers had no chance. "Philip is a gay name in itself!"

Sullivan also - this self-burial yielded as many developments as his matches do botches - claims to have "got with" Ronda Rousey. Well, he's very much not a soy boy cuck of a millennial, so maybe he did.

Sullivan also called CM Punk a "severely overrated pr*ck - so that's his WrestleMania 35 main event pencilled in, then.

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Contributor
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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!