If WWE could be condensed into a two hour show once a week, it would be a great night of wrestling. It could be near Attitude Era level of good.
Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar, old-school Goldust, the break up of Enzo and Cass, and the Fashion Files all made for entertaining television. But drag that out to two shows and five hours (everybody knows 205 Live doesn't actually exist), and so much of the good stuff is bogged down that the entire product feels flat.
Look at Smackdown, the show aired two straight up rematches from the pay-per-view. The opening segment was virtually the exact same thing that opened the show the week before. Sami Zayn and Baron Corbin battled again. A.J. Styles made another lame pop culture reference (at least the whole Kevin Owens/Cartman thing seems to have stopped), and Daniel Bryan was once again talking on his phone and relaying everything that just happened. Why doesn't that other person just watch the show?
Also this week, Impact suddenly went away. Global Force Wrestling is now a real thing again. Really. Nobody asked for it. Nobody wanted it. But we must all accept it. You've finally won Jeff Jarrett. It's too bad you didn't change the name of your promotion 15 years ago when it would have mattered.
Now hold those balls of fire and the Ball family off a little longer, because it's time to uncover wrestling's worst of the week.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com