9 Laws Of Physics That Only Exist In Wrestling

Even the most ardent wrestling fan must admit that even the most common in-rings maneuvers can be taxing to the suspension of one's disbelief. But there are certain things that happen between the ropes that flat-out deny the laws of physics as we know them. 

This leaves only two possible conclusions: that professional wrestling is a predetermined pastiche of real athletic competition (impossible), or it is a pocket dimension that boasts its own laws of physics (much more likely).

This article examines, and attempts to explain, the physical laws that must logically exist in professional wrestling.

Anyone that's ever seen a ladder match knows that after the opening minutes, it is literally impossible to climb a ladder with any kind of appreciable speed. Doesn't matter if you're in the middle of a manic, Warrior-esque second wind; after minute two, no force on earth will make you hustle up those rungs like, you know, you're trying to win a match that can only be won by ladder-climbing.

The only possible explanation is that wrestling ladders are made of black hole matter, and their tremendous gravitational pull inextricably slows the ascent of any intended climber. Now, black hole matter is well-known to be almost impenetrably dense, and a small handful would weigh like a million pounds or whatever, and the fact that wrestlers regularly survive being crushed under these ladders would seem to disprove this hypothesis.

However, the recent destruction of such ladders has shown that the their composition also includes sawdust, which most scientists agree is somewhat lighter than black hole matter. In this way, wrestling ladders are designed and built to be simultaneously hard to climb and easy to survive, probably in an enchanted dwarven forge.