A Haters And Beginners Guide To WWE

It’s the most annoying phrase that any WWE fan can hear—more annoying than nails on a chalkboard, finding a strand…

Mike Lang


chris jericho

It’s the most annoying phrase that any WWE fan can hear—more annoying than nails on a chalkboard, finding a strand of hair in your food, or stepping on a Lego—“You know wrestling is fake, right?”

Yes, genius.

I cannot count on my fingers and toes the number of times this has happened to me, and every time, I want to go off on some erroneous tangent of why that person is as predictable as they are. Instead of doing that, I decided to write out my grievances. Hopefully this will strike a chord with fellow WWE “apologists” like myself, as well as teach “the way” of the WWE to those who do not know and are willing to listen.

In essence, WWE is nothing more than an entertainment television show (hence, the “E”, in WWE)—the announcers even sometimes open the show saying “Welcome to WWE Monday Night RAW episode number…”

So, back to the original question “You know this is fake, right?”—This usually can be countered with a question of its own—“What’s your favorite TV show?”

Coming back with a question like that will usually throw the person off– “Umm, I don’t know, The Walking Dead.”

Perfect, now you have them right where you want ’em – “You know that’s fake too, right?”

“Well, yeah, but I meant the fighting is fake.”

“Oh, so you mean to tell me those zombies are real? And those people are actually killing the other humans too, right?”

It goes on-and-on.

Yes, people, wrestling is fake—although I still cringe when I hear “wrestling” and “fake” in the same sentence, so let’s use a different word that carries the same meaning, just in a more-efficient way—wrestling is scripted (just like The Walking Dead, and pretty much any other entertainment television show.)

There is honestly so much that goes into the WWE, but a good place to start is a quick lesson on how it is scripted (without getting too heavy into the backstage happenings).

Everything you see on TV starts out with a storyline. There are storyline writers for the direction of the product, as well as “agents” that can help the superstars with their matches.

Basically, the agents are aware of the overall direction of a storyline. The agents can help the superstars with their matches, so the storylines will make sense in the long-term. This isn’t always the case though, as veteran superstars can come up with their own finish as well.

The key word to take away from that last paragraph is “finish.” It’s likely that there are only a few spots in the match that are actually planned ahead-of-time, along with the finish, and the rest of the match is free-lanced.

Now that the elephant in the room has been taken care of (fake/scripted), the next notion to discuss is, “Why watch the show if you know everything is predetermined?”

Well, there are a ton of reasons to watch. Some individuals may have several reasons they tune-in to WWE programming, and others may only watch for one thing; I will document a few of these.