John Cena Promises To Unleash SIXTH "Move Of Doom" Finisher

Don't study New Japan please.

John Cena Stupid
WWE

According to a new, official YouTube video released by WWE, John Cena has promised - or, gauging by more recent attempts to expand his in-ring arsenal, threatened - to debut a new finishing manoeuvre, adding to his infamous "five moves of doom".

These moves, for those who haven't been watching WWE for the last 80 years, include two flying shoulder blocks, a sit-out hip toss barely worth one, a side-release spin-out powerbomb in which he has somehow avoided giving his own feet the 'Misery' treatment, a "five knuckle shuffle" that evokes a rather ironic feeling of depression once it's finished, and the AA. Cena, promoting WWE's imminent inroad into the Chinese market, has admitted that the latter move has lost its impact in recent years (aside from when The Miz is on the receiving end, of course).

He's clearly taking the p*ss, but here's hoping that he doesn't take the p*ss out of himself. We've been here before.

Cena retired his bastardisation of the Frankensteiner when it became apparent that he wasn't athletic enough to pull it off, and retired also his springboard Stunner. In both theory and application - he used it as a mere signature, and could barely actually apply it - it was an abomination. Any time Cena attempts a new move, it invariably fails, sometimes to the point of danger.

Here's hoping he's not been watching the G1 Climax, for everybody's sake.

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Former Power Slam Magazine scribe and author of Development Hell: The NXT Story - available NOW on shop.whatculture.com!

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