Daniel Bryan has had a year full of so many twists and turns you would think that M. Night Shyamalan had began to write for Monday Night Raw; he’s cashed in his Money in the Bank contract to win his first World Heavyweight Championship; turned heel and began a global phenomenon with his “Yes!” catchphrase; entered the record books losing his championship in just eighteen seconds at Wrestlemania to Sheamus; began a bizarre storyline which saw psycho diva AJ in the center of a three way of tug-of-war and is now ready to tie the knot with his on-and-off again beloved.
Previous history in professional wrestling has taught us many valuable life lessons over the years: When the bell-rings in your World Heavyweight Championship match, make sure you’re facing the right direction; going too long without shaving gives you the appearance of an untamed goat and most importantly; never, ever get married in a wrestling ring.
The American Dragon has already defied the first two lessons unsuccessfully in this year, so when AJ said “Yes!” to his proposal on the previous episode of Raw, we knew that catastrophe was on the horizon. Therefore, in the interest of Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee, we present the WWE wedding guide.
Rule 1: Create a Bridal Registry – No Snakes Please
When Elizabeth and the late “Macho Man” Randy Savage exchanged vows at Summerslam in 1991, Liz probably expected her guests to offer thier congratulations with the usual mundane gifts all newlyweds receive – a SodaStream, or a coffee maker perhaps – as opposed to the 12-foot king cobra which sunk its teeth into her husbands arm.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts wasn’t the only person who felt mis-informed, needless to say the groom wasn’t too impressed by the Undertaker’s present either; a steel chair straight to the back of his cranium.
So, Daniel and AJ, make sure you have that bridal registry drawn up and sent to your guests ASAP.