The WWE Half-Year Awards 2018
And the winners are...
The solstice has been and gone, which means we've passed the halfway point of the year. Summer's basically over, and the Christmas decs will soon be up, so what better time than now to pause for thought and reflect on the first six months of the year?
Half-year awards might not be as prestigious as their December equivalents, but they do serve as a good barometer for how things are going in WWE at present. Spoiler: it's not great.
Financially, the company are in Rick Rude health, currently on course for the most profitable year of their existence. It's a remarkable fact, given the absolute creative bankruptcy of the bulk of their on-screen product.
Ever since WrestleMania, WWE have descended into their usual holding pattern. The formulaic downtime is so well-established that even external analysis adopts a familiar hue. Many of the awards handed out echo the same sentiments of years gone by, annual lamentations which simply refuse to go away.
Positivity has been tough to come by - and not for want of trying. Contenders for the wooden spoons on offer were rife. For the six-month Slammies, less so.
And the winners are...
(Note: these awards only consider the main roster (Raw, SmackDown, 205 Live). NXT is a separate category.)
10. Best Tag Team: None
It doesn't take Florence and her caterwauling machine to tell you that the canicular days enjoyed by WWE's tag team scene last year have cooled. The dog days are over.
Six months in to 2018, it's impossible to pick a single twosome who could be considered the best. The Bar were buried beneath Braun and a boy before shuffling off to SmackDown. Brand stalwarts The Usos, have likewise, faded, with their turf now squashed beneath the hammers of the Bludgeon Brothers - who don't earn by the hour. The New Day have descended into pancake pushing parodies, whilst over on Raw, you have to squint harder than a cyclops in direct sunlight to even see a tag team. Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt are the champions. Who knew?
This time last year, we were writing about the great resurrection of WWE's doubles division. The revival - like its misused namesakes - is dead in the water. The company has reverted to type, as the dual-branded supershow era has once more rendered the tag scene an irritating inconvenience.
Runner-up: Not applicable.