TNA Impact Wrestling! 26th January 2011
As always, last week gets recapped. But you read that last week right? RIGHT!?
We pick up backstage where Jeff Hardy is beating down Bully Ray in that are that they always seem to be taking photos. They brawl past that with some terribly unrealistic punches and out to another backstage area. Just in time, Roode pulls up in his beautiful white truck and jumps Hardy with Bully. Bully drops a piece of wood on Jeff’s leg that looks like it weighs less than a sponge. They throw him in the back of the truck, but then James Storm comes out of nowhere and gets involved. He throws Storm through a barricade then smacks Bully with a PLASTIC bottle. I should note there’s a lot of needless grunting going on. Then, STING comes into the picture and takes a bat to Roode’s stomach. Ray runs off, Sting shouts angrily, presumably because his sunglasses fell off.
The Impact Wrestling opening sure does show a lot of wrestlers that haven’t been on TV lately.
Number One Contender to the Knockout Title
Velvet Sky vs. Tara vs. Mickie James
Velvet’s shirt says OMGWTF and Tazz loves it for some reason. “Its all about dungarees,” he says about Mickie’s outfit, which is not a pair of dungarees. Tara dominates until the ad break, and when we come back, Velvet is dropping her with an awkward Monkey Flip. Mickie looks set to win with a kick on Tara but she reaches the ropes. She sets up for the DDT but Velvet knocks her down. Tara slams Velvet right into Mickie, then covers Mickie for a three count. Tara is your new number one contender. Have a hug Hebner.
Backstage, Gail Kim is looking forward to proving why shes dominant against Tara. Elsewhere, Sting is putting on his sunglasses, because god forbid we ever see his eyes again.
We didn’t start with a promo tonight, so we have to have one now. Sting comes to the ring with Storm and Hardy, who are feeling a little worse for ware. Denim Sting calls Bully and Roode out straight away. They make their way out through the crowd, with Bully managed to find an empty seat to lift and throw at the ring. Instant brawl! That is until Sting gets involved with his bat, even holding Jeff back by the throat with it. He splits them into separate corners but they jump each other again. And if this isn’t heading for a tag match, then colour me stupid. Each one is backed into their own corner as Sting announces a TAG TEAM MATCH! And then lets brawl again. Storm manages to get a mic in his hand and suggests it be a tables match. Sting is down with that so hit his music.
Alex Shelley is backstage putting over Zema Ion but saying hes not X Title material. Somewhere else, Eric Young is jumping on the spot. Some guy walks past to collect a lighting stand and Eric Young mistakes him for Sammy Davis Jr. The guy can’t help but corpse and leave. Somebody call for the man!! Winter and Angelina come in from behind and compliment Eric’s beard and flirt a bit and call themselves easy. Angelina goes to boot him in the crotch but hurts herself cause hes wearing a cup.
Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley
Zema now carries hairspray to the ring. Does anyone else find it strange that they’re justifying Alex being off TV just because his partner was injured? Seems ridiculous to me. Shelley counters him into a beautiful arm lock followed with a pin at the outset. Zema takes offence but Shelley just chops him hard then boots him in the spine. Zema manages a nice twisting cross body out of the corner but soon after gets spun around and slammed on his face, then clotheslined to the floor. Back in the ring Zema drops him throat first on the ropes and takes over. Alex proves he has no ring rust with some swift strikes, then takes Zema face first into the middle buckle. He goes for a double stomp but Zema moves and lands a DDT. Now its his town to head up, but he misses a 450 Splash that would have missed even if Shelley hadn’t moved. Sliced Bread Number Two, One, Two, Three for Shelley.
AJ Styles is complaining that the business has changed Bobby and Daniels so much, so it was inevitable Kazarian was going to change. He promises we’d get to the bottom tonight.
Somewhere else, Tara is excited and sweaty.
Mike Tenay says we’re going to see footage shot Earlier This Week, then the video says EARLIER TODAY. Either way, it’s a video of Eric Bischoff visiting the gym his son is training at. He wants to meet this big trainer, and sees who it is, but the camera for some reason doesn’t look to see. Eric is shocked though at least.
Winter & Angelina Love vs. ODB & Eric Young
What is it about Winter that I like? Is it the horrible acting? I cant tell. Wouldn’t be an Eric Young match without some stalling first so lets get that out of the way. After he goes to the same punch line about 5 times by locking up with the ref, Winter smacks him. He takes of his shorts and neck scarf to add to the hilarity. ODB tags in and some WRESTLING happens. She somehow messes up a Bronco Buster soon after. Winter and Love take over on ODB. ODB manages a jaw breaker and Eric passes her the hip flask which fires her up. Fall Away Slam and a nip up and a boob grab. Eric runs in and grabs Winter as ODB grabs Angelina and we have a double Airplane Spin. ODB Drops Love and pins her as Young and Winter stumble to the outside.
Bully still hasn’t washed the blood on his face from earlier while he and Roode shout about tonight, then tease some dissent over the world title.
Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan
Joe interrupted the elbows by going for a choke, but Morgan escaped and hit some elbows anyway. Morgan charges, Joe gets the boot up and a flying leg lariat. Charge and a Pele for two. Morgan fires up with a few clotheslines then takes too long to set up a move and Joe gets him with a boot and a senton. Joe goes for a Figure 4, gets kicked off and turns around into a discuss clothesline. Morgan covers him and gets a three off the clothesline? Alright. Magnus takes Crimson out on the outside, then he and Joe double team Morgan.
AJ Styles is WALKING! James Storm and Jeff Hardy are TALKING!
AJ joins us in the ring. He could care less about Kaz, but points out that he watched it back and wants to know WHY Kazarian is doing what Daniels tells him. As soon as he finishes his sentence, Daniels comes to the ring, followed by Kaz. Daniels takes the mic from Kazarian and does the talking. He accuses AJ of constantly complaining for ten years. Daniels says Kaz doesn’t owe him any answers. AJ says he has other ways to get answers and goes to attack them. Daniels cuts him off on the mic and calls him a thug. Styles suggests that he turn his back, allow them to step into the ring and take his head off. Kazarian goes to leave but Daniels sends him into the ring. Kaz walks to the ring but turns back, Daniels tries to force him in, and instead slides in himself. Styles turns around and hits Daniels with a kick. Someone in the crowd suggests that Kaz and Daniels love each other. AJ offers to shake Kazarian hand and they can forget all about it. He climbs into the ring, AJ extends his hand, but Daniels comes to and gets on the mic. “You know exactly why you’re not going to shake his hand.” And with that he forces him to get out of the ring. Daniels says hes going to Sting to propose a match between AJ and Kazarian then forces a reluctant Kazarian to get backstage and ask for that match.
Tag Team Tables Match
Jeff Hardy & James Storm vs. Bully Ray & Robert Roode
The teams pair off and brawl around the ring. Roode suplexes Storm on the ramp as Bully slams Jeff on the ringside mats. Bully tries to take Storm out with a chain but he reverses. Hardy jumps into shot and takes Roode down as we go to commercial. When we return, the good guys have control and the crowd are well behind them. Jeff slides a table into the ring. They go for a double suplex on Roode but Ray moves the table and clotheslines both of them. Table back up now, but this time Storm moves the table to save Jeff from a back body drop through it. Roode sets the table up in the corner. Ray charges Hardy with a big kick, Jeff moves, and ray’s own foot goes through the table. Roode gets the other table in the ring now and they double team Jeff. Roode sticks him on the table, Ray climbs the top. Storm kicks Ray down. Roode attempts to suplex Storm onto Jeff on the table but Jeff slides off and Storm pushes him off. Jeff connects with a Twist of Fate on Roode and slides him on the table. He holds him on it, Storm flies off with an elbow which smashes Roode through the table.
Jeff and James win this one, but Bully is right in with a steel chair to both men. He gets another table from under the ring. He sits on the top rope, and Roode places Jeff on his shoulders. Bully jumps off and power bombs Hardy through the table. And that’s that.
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This article was first posted on January 28, 2012