WWE’s Major Problem With RAW 25

Dancing on the corpse's ashes.

Stone Cold Arrested
WWE.com

Is there any pleasing certain wrestling fans?

WWE’s upcoming celebrations are potentially problematic. That’s not to suggest Monday’s spectacular won’t be just that - but because it will be just that. RAW 25 promises pure magnificence - incredible fantasy booking fodder in response to which WWE will inevitably trounce those sitting slack-jawed in the armchair.

Imagine Chris Jericho striking the list from the list, reinventing himself as his New Japan Alpha über-heel on the WWE stage.

Imagine John Laurinaitis promising the return of People Power, and Stone Cold Steve Austin dousing him in beer in response. Imagine fellow Texan John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield trying to get in on the fun, only to be met by the Stone Cold Stunner. Mauro Ranallo would not be alone in his glowing smile.

Imagine Jerry Lawler, flustered at the return of Jacqueline and Terri Runnels, forget which decade he’s in, drop a “Puppies!”-sized clanger - and appreciate the inevitable seconds of dead air, knowing he’s in for a right old mouthful in his headpiece.

Imagine the Dudley Boyz slamming Brother Love, at his most purposefully irritating, through a table as a light response to his incredibly revelatory podcasts.

Imagine Scott Hall doing anything, with a beaming smile on his face, equipped with the knowledge that he so nearly, tragically, missed out.

Imagine Shawn Michaels Superkicking Elias out of his stool seconds after slaughtering ‘Sexy Boy’.

Imagine Ron Simmons doling out the “D*mn!” treatment to Booker T at the commentary booth. CONT'D...

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!