The final bell has rung on WWE's overblown excursion to Australia this evening, and it certainly had its moments.
A reported 70,000+ fans flocked into the Melbourne Cricket Ground for WWE's Super Show-Down, anchored by an inexplicable, nonsensical,'Last Time Ever' contest between Triple H and The Undertaker. Elsewhere on the card, Samoa Joe had another tilt at AJ Styles' WWE Title, whilst Daniel Bryan and The Miz combated for the right to face the winner at the upcoming Crown Jewel.
It was eventful, to say the least. Here are the results in full:
The New Day unsurprisingly usurped The Bar in an entertaining opener, which ended after the pair delivered the Midnight Hour to Cesaro. The bout was shorter than perhaps hoped, but kicked the night off on the right foot.
WWE's booking team seem to be on the right track with Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch, the pair's contest over the SmackDown Women's Title logically and cleverly concluding after the Irish heel whacked her opponent over the head with the belt whilst trapped in a figure-four leglock. The company wisely side-stepped another Charlotte title win.
Elias and Kevin Owens succumbed to the team of Bobby Lashley and John Cena, the latter enjoying his first televised match since April by bantering the songster off with his 'Sixth Move of Doom' (a punch). He thanked the fans for having him afterwards, despite taking the p*ss moments earlier.
Hometown heroes The IIconics surprisingly prevailed against Naomi and Asuka. Royce and Billie Kay played up to the Melbourne crowd, without any of their usual heel antics.
WWE Champion AJ Styles eventually subdued Samoa Joe with a Calf Crusher, after some patchy storytelling which teased a double-turn. It didn't happen; the champ simply won. Where Joe goes from here isn't clear.
Ronda Rousey and The Bellas bested The Riott Squad, with Rousey once more demonstrating her supreme star power in forcing Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan to tap to a double armbar. There's been a lot of hand-wringing regarding The Bellas re-insertion into the women's division of late, but they didn't put a foot wrong in this six-person, which subtly laid the foundations for tension between the pair and the Raw Women's champ.
In a real turn-up for the books, not one but two locals won on home turf, as Melbourne's own Buddy Murphy beat Cedric Alexander to become the new Cruiserweight Champion. The crowd were naturally super into the contest, which was wrestled as a proper cruiser clash replete with high spots. As you might expect, the finish went over big time.
A long match between The Shield and the team of Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler, and Drew McIntyre ended with Dean Ambrose pinning Dolph - but not before his loyalty was questioned after accidentally eating a Roman Reigns superman punch. The commentary team made extra sure everybody knew the implications of the mix-up.
One of the weirdest moments of the night saw Daniel Bryan roll The Miz up in just under three minutes to set up a title match with AJ Styles at Crown Jewel. It's not clear why the match went so short, but it may have been to clear up forty minutes for the main event, an interminable slugfest between Triple H and The Undertaker. Undertaker, increasingly resembling an unfit Mideon, stumbled through a painfully slow contest with more smoke and mirrors than burning fun house, before eventually being buried by Hunter's pedigree.
After the match, The Brothers of Destruction and D-X shared a 'heartfelt moment' before 'Taker and Kane went rogue. The next episode of Last of the Summer Wine looks certain for Crown Jewel.
Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know).
He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.