WWE Theory: The Miz Is Going To Win Money In The Bank 2018

Not just the least worst solution, but also the best.

Miz Money in the Bank
WWE.com

After getting what felt like a new PPV every 7-8 minutes, the gap between Greatest Royal Rumble and Money In The Bank has felt like it was never going to end.

The annual showpiece event has become a key date in WWE’s calendar as, not only does it feature one of the few remaining gimmick matches that actually mean anything, but it effectively anoints the recipients of the company’s next big pushes.

For the men’s event this year we have 8 possible contenders. Braun, Finn, Miz, Rusev, Roode, Owens, one of the New Day and, we’re told, probably Samoa Joe. He’s got to face Bryan yet but the story is that Cass’s injury is a work and he’ll cost him.

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But, by a simple scientific process of elimination, it is going to be The Miz. Allow me to explain.

Finn Balor is a face and is not a wrestler they really seem to believe in. He’s not been anywhere near the title picture since he was forced to give it up and the company just do not see him at that level of the card. It ain’t him.

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Samoa Joe is someone they care about but only selectively. He’s pitched as a monster but hasn’t been on SmackDown anywhere near long enough to look dominant yet. It’s a) too soon for him and b) not something he needs. Right now they see him as a guy to make another guy.

Kevin Owens would be a great holder of the briefcase but he’s still too intertwined in his team-up with Sami Zayn and he’s clearly in this match as the designated spot monkey. Same role he had in the IC ladder match at Mania.

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As for Rusev - I’ll quite happily be proved wrong about this, but - he’d be cast as another Corbin with the briefcase and absolutely destined to fail with it. They can’t do that 2 years running, so rule him out.

The New Day entrant is quite interesting as, assuming they’re not just there to provide some massive spots as a group, it could be a genuine breakout performance for one of them. You only elevate one member of a stable if you’re planning a singles push with them but, still, it won’t start here.

Strownman is the absolute last person they should be putting this on. He does absolutely not need a !*$% briefcase to get a title shot. Or an advantage over someone to win the thing. Plus he’s a face and it’s a better use of him to just pick a ladder up with 4 people on it and throw it out the ring.

And Bobby Roode. Lol.

So that leaves us with only one man. The Miz. A man who isn’t merely just the least bad choice, but also a very logical one when you actually think about it.

Let’s unpack this first from the perspective of you and I, who are objectively not stupid, and then from WWE’s perspective, who objectively are. Firstly, there is no upcoming singles feud for Miz. We know the one we want to see, but he’s not currently in either of the title pictures. He’s beaten Jeff Hardy and there’s no suggestion he wants a shot at his belt, and he’s not been anywhere near Styles yet. So he’s free.

Secondly, The Miz is the single greatest performer in that company with a prop. The Intercontinental Title felt like the most important thing in the world when he was shoving it down everyone’s throat and… well… the Mizterage. He made Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel feel… important? That’s sorcery.

With no immediate rivalries and mastery of using a thing. You’ve got near unlimited mileage in a series of “I’ve got the briefcase lads” feuds until they’re ready for him to cash it in. WWE need something that reliable for the next few months and they know it.

So that’s all stuff we, as very clever people can figure out. That’s basically Why The Miz Should Win MITB, but that’s a different article. This is why it’s actually going to happen, not merely why it should.

In short, it’ll happen, because WWE really, really like Miz, and will subsequently seek to maximise him. It’s that simple. You can make a case for everyone in this match, almost, but no logic will trump WWE’s own pigheadedness of just giving it to the guy they like the most at that given moment.

Almost without exception, WWE have given the briefcase to whoever they happen to like the most at that moment in time. No real thought to what they’ll do with it, just a big win for their flavours of the month. Just look at Carmella and Corbin.

Now I know, your compulsion here will be to drop into the comments and tell me you want someone else to win. So do I. I think they should give it to Balor and let him paint the thing to look like a demon. But, look, I’ve run all the tests. It’s come out as Miz. Sorry.

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. Bearing in mind that you can’t argue with it because it’s science.

Managing Editor
Managing Editor

WhatCulture's Managing Editor and Chief Reporter | Previously seen in Vice, Esquire, FourFourTwo, Sabotage Times, Loaded, The Set Pieces, and Mundial Magazine