The first trailer for Paramount's faintly credible live-action Sonic the Hedgehog movie hit yesterday, and it's fair to say it's been pretty divisive.
Unfortunately, the division is between those who think it's an affront to all humanity, and other who think it's simply an affront to cinema.
In other words, it doesn't look great.
The worst thing isn't the utterly hideous iteration of Sonic which even the worst crevices of DeviantArt would have struggled to produce, nor the strangely subdued steampunk Hercule Poirot passing for Dr. Robotnik, but the fact the whole thing looks so completely basic.
Though we obviously don't yet know all the details, what did come across from the three minute trailer is that Sonic the Hedgehog looks to be the most by-the-numbers franchise hero saves the world caper, littered with clichéd dialogue, banal scenarios and very little in the way of the charm which has created interest in the similarly weird and similarly furry Detective Pikachu.
Sadly for salivating Sonic fans, this surface level treatment hasn't opened the door to anything beyond surface level details, and the little nods to the Blue Blur's checkered, checkerboard history weren't exactly subtle. Still, if you hadda go fast, you might have whizzed by a couple.
7. An Almost Familiar Setting
Just as the original Sonic the Hedgehog game began in the Green Hill Zone, so too does the misguided movie equivalent.
The opening shot of the trailer pans up across a verdant, tree-lined highway, giving us a glimpse of a sign reading: "Welcome to Green Hills". We then see the stationary cop car situated behind the sign, likewise bearing the livery, confirming this isn't the checkerboard first level we all know and love, but a boring real-world equivalent.
Unfortunately, the little slogan you need to squint to read on the bottom of the sign rather prosaically reads, "The little town with a big heart." Sadly, these little details - or lack of - rather characterise the trailer.