The first trailer for Paramount's faintly credible live-action Sonic the Hedgehog movie hit yesterday, and it's fair to say it's been pretty divisive.
Unfortunately, the division is between those who think it's an affront to all humanity, and other who think it's simply an affront to cinema.
In other words, it doesn't look great.
The worst thing isn't the utterly hideous iteration of Sonic which even the worst crevices of DeviantArt would have struggled to produce, nor the strangely subdued steampunk Hercule Poirot passing for Dr. Robotnik, but the fact the whole thing looks so completely basic.
Though we obviously don't yet know all the details, what did come across from the three minute trailer is that Sonic the Hedgehog looks to be the most by-the-numbers franchise hero saves the world caper, littered with clichéd dialogue, banal scenarios and very little in the way of the charm which has created interest in the similarly weird and similarly furry Detective Pikachu.
Sadly for salivating Sonic fans, this surface level treatment hasn't opened the door to anything beyond surface level details, and the little nods to the Blue Blur's checkered, checkerboard history weren't exactly subtle. Still, if you hadda go fast, you might have whizzed by a couple.
Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know).
He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.