10 Most Horrifying Sex Faces Ever Pulled In Video Games

It's no wonder Hot Coffee was cut from San Andreas...

Video games' inability to accurately capture that most intimate of acts has been well documented. Even though today's graphics are excellent at capturing facial expressions and bodily movements thanks to motion-capture technology - with textures right down to rivulets of sweat running down characters' brows - the sight of two polygonal bodies grinding up against each other still looks wrong (and not in a kinky 'it's so wrong, it's right' kind of way). But here I've chosen to zoom in on the faces during the act, putting them under the microscope so that we can frown in disgust and laugh at their ineptitude at capturing the heat of the moment. From the 'fish out of water gasping for air' look, to a vacant gaze that screams to us 'serial killer planning their next victim', video game sex faces run the gamut from the hilarious to the horrifying (while never quite attaining the status of 'convincing' or 'actually sexy'). So behold the 10 worst sex faces ever pulled in video games, and rest assured that any facial contortions you've made between the sheets have never looked so ridiculous... probably.

10. Ethan Mars - Heavy Rain

There are many things wrong with Heavy Rain's sex scene, but none quite match Ethan 'JAY-SON' Mars' mouth. You can almost see what's-her-face hesitating upon seeing it, staring in confused horror at his gaping gob before lunging in with a kiss so she doesn't have to look at his face anymore. Maybe Ethan is just so into it that he's completely on another planet, as indicated by the fact that when she moves her head away, he bites down on his tongue, dementedly lost in the moment. Poor, poor what's-her-face...
Contributor
Contributor

Gamer, Researcher of strange things. I'm a writer-editor hybrid whose writings on video games, technology and movies can be found across the internet. I've even ventured into the realm of current affairs on occasion but, unable to face reality, have retreated into expatiating on things on screens instead.