10 Ways You're Ruining Movies For Everyone

The do's and don'ts of proper cinema etiquette. (Mostly don'ts.)

These days, it€™s not uncommon for someone to walk into a cinema, excited and pumped to see the latest side-splitting superhero blockbuster or hidden arthouse gem and walk out two hours later despairing at the dismal state of humanity. It€™s little wonder independent theatres are more or less a thing of a past and even multiplexes are struggling to turn a profit. People are having such a bad modern moviegoing experience that many have given up on the silver screen altogether and are content with watching films on home video, streaming services or just plain stealing them from the internet to avoid the perils of the cinema. Some of the reasons for this hatred of sitting in a dark room for 2 hours or more are as old as cinema itself, but just as many are symptomatic of the modern age, new technologies and the attention disorders that come with them. But all of the reasons have one thing in common: people. Specifically, you. Yes, people. The entire reason films as entertainment exist at all in the first place are also the same thing that make them intolerable to sit through, and their list of crimes is as long as your arm. The following is a list of ten of the worst offences caused by people that ruin movies for everyone, and before you join our cry of €œno more!€ just consider for a moment if you€™re guilty of any of them. Because we can pretty much guarantee that you are. Everyone is.
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Film history obsessive, New Hollywood fetishist and comics evangelist.