12 Movies That Were Dead On Arrival
No prizes for guessing these ideas would flop!
Legendary screenwriter William Goldman’s Hollywood adage was “Nobody knows anything”. And while there are tried and tested formulae which work time and again in the movie biz, for the most part, he’s right. Sleeper hits and sudden sensations can come out of nowhere; conversely a film that seems like it’s bound for glory can end up barely breaking even.
Sometimes, though, it’s patently obvious that a movie is just going to be a disaster. From the moment that green light flashes, or maybe when the first images from the set come out, some productions just convey impending doom.
Whether the film is held down and besmirched by offscreen mayhem, made for the wrong reasons which turn an audience against the project, or just based on plain stupid ideas, the form is littered with movies which any keen eyed observer could have told you were going to end in disaster.
These 12 are particularly egregious examples of the phenomenon, but given Hollywood’s propensity for arrogance, cynicism, and failing to learn from its own mistakes, this list will be outdated from the off - there are unimaginable disasters yet to come.
12. John Carter
The quest to make Taylor Kitsch a bonafide star took another knock in this 2012 disaster. A film in production for literally the best part of 100 years, this adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ series of sci-fi novels epitomises development hell and demonstrates that some things aren’t worth waiting for.
The Barsoom series of novels sees John Carter, a civil war soldier, transported to futuristic Mars, where he puts his military skills to good use in the war torn plains of the red planet. It’s a fun, pulpy concept that seems like it could work fine for a big budget picture - and yet, studios have failed to make it happen since 1917. The issue was one of special effects, which were deemed too crude in every proposed iteration to bring the story to life. It wasn’t until 2012 when Walt Disney studios finally managed to bring us their vision.
Well, ultimately, no one really cared. The film was a trifle, decent silly fun in parts but with an at-times incomprehensible script and an astronomical budget that it was never going to begin to recoup. Planned sequels were scrapped, the studio head stepped down, and Taylor Kitsch continued to strive in the mid-card.