THE LAST SEVEN Review; OK concept but no talent to back it up
rating: 1.5
The label might only read "WithDanny Dyer", but I predict for a significant proportion of the movie-watching community, the association with the self-styled on-screen wide-boy may be too much to drag this apocalyptic thriller beyond being the millionth Dyer film to come out this year.
The Last Seven is essentially an apocalyptic fantasy thriller at its heart, daubed with enough (painfully obviously) fake blood to drown a vampire with just the suggestion of an underlying religious mystery film. So, in short, its genre. Without spoiling too much the plot looks something like this: our "hero" William Blake (see, religious and stuff) wakes up on a London street to find that he is entirely alone, thanks to seven million people mysteriously vanishing, so he's naturally a bit scared/angry/confused and sets out trying to find whatever he can. In the course of things he finds six other survivors: Tamer Hassan's soldier (complete with gun), a grumpy teen girl, a sozzled civil servant, a religious nut, an army captain in civvies, and a lady who apparently speaks no English. Banding together, as you do, they begin to be atttacked one by one by Danny Dyer's bloody-faced Angel of Death (in a hoodie no less), and as they try to survive they realise through a series of flashbacks that they share a common link.
Because I was astounded by its pretention, I've decided to repost the official teaser synopsis offered by the film's official webite:
London Population: 7 million. Until Today.
In a not-too-distant future, the face of London has changed dramatically. Stung by ineffectual politics, a rapidly expanding population and the ravages of climate change it can no longer take the strain and collapses in on itself. Down from 7 million, now only 7 individuals remain and together they must form a new society in the face of a desperate, unforgiving future.
Advertisement
I would also like to suggest that whoever wrote that passage has never in fact even spoken to anyone involved in the film- it describes about ten minutes of the beginning, refers to themes and actual events that never happen and suggests an entirely different film all together!
Sounds morbidly fascinating right? Read on for the full review...
Ignoring the ridiculous, clumsy prologue, you can see what the film is trying to do in the first establishing shots of a derilict London. There is a conscious attempt to recapture the feel of 28 Days Laterand indeed I Am Legend, and there is a definite nod towards Lost in there too, with the way the prone figure of William (Simon Philips) wakes up. And for a low budget film, the shots of London look quite good- it becomes painfully obvious that they are where the majority of the budget actually went to the rest of the film's detriment in fact- but in one tiny fragment of a frame, they undo all of that reasonable work and effectively show their hand way too quickly.
The camerawork and soundwork up to that significant point all urge the audience to empathise with the gravity of William's predicament, and feel the frustration and fear of his isolation: but then, in the background we glimpse someone sprinting across the frame. This is not, in itself a real spoiler, as it is pretty inconsequential, which makes the decision to include it all the more frustrating. The film should spend more time establishing an atmosphere of isolation, instead of playing the promiscuous harlot and lifting up its skirt too quickly- spoiling any sense of the thriller/chiller that it clearly aspires to be.
Just when you thought Danny Dyer would be the worst thing about the cast, Simon Philips excels himself to take the initial plaudits: first he reacts rather meekly to the prospect of being entirely alone up to the point where he rather needlessly beats up a car in an attempt to draw someone' attention (therein lies a pleasant little allegory for Mr Dyer's career) and then he fails to show any emotional range at all, beyond having a constantly wet face, to the degree that it isn't at all possible to tell whether he is even actually capable of emotion. And empathy is certainly out of the question.
It is impossible to feel anything but mild disdain for William, as he is acted terrifically badly by Philips throughout- the sequence where he is trying to find the source of some disembodied singing is just deliriously badly handled by all parties, but Philips steals the show thanks to the decision to pirouette on the spot and shout over the words he cannot hear. And so it follows that Philips uses his "dramatic" spin to convey his frustration and confusion at being alone- along with some comedy running and an exaggerated facial tick, when confused that makes his performance an all round delight to behold for all the wrong reasons. He is supposed to be the emotional and moral heart of the film, I think, if I have gleaned the right thing from the film's subsequent reveal, but director Imran Naqvi spends so much time in intentional misdirection- in the hope of an M Night Shyamalan style audible gasp at the subsequent revelation- that by the time you are given enough information to realise what you're supposed to think, you bloody hate everyone so much you can't pick a heart to follow.
And then, when you think Philips couldn't possibly be trumped, along comes the first fellow survivor we meet- a drunken businessman called Henry, wielding a bottle of cognac (in a whiskey decanter oddly) who ups the stakes to an almost infinite degree- worst drunk-act ever- and obviously a hideously misguided attempt to inject some humour to balance the grimness and Jack's perennial clench-jawed machoism. The rest of the sorry group are acted pretty much equally as badly, though there is one slightly shining light.
Chloe, inexplicably for someone caught in the middle of the Armageddon has an incredible attitude problem, and announces the discovery of William to the on-screen Jack (played typically brusquely by Tamer Hassan) with the faintest touch of exasperation, as if it were some kind of chore to find a survivor. Rather than a fault of the actress, Daisy Head- who is head and shoulders the best actor on show- the attitude is probably an attempt by the scriptwriters to convey a sense of skewed atmosphere, a little niggling doubt that not everything is at all as it seems. But sadly, the ineptitude with which the script offers its actors lines is laughable, and is rather tragically counter-productive.
The "star" of the show, Tamer Hassan has a difficult old time of seguaying between cockney wide-boy (his best role was after all in The Business) and authoritative military figure- he just doesn't command that sort of presence, though there is some perverse pleasure in seeing him mangle every piss-poor line he has been given so that he still sounds exactly like a football hooligan. Dyer, incredibly has a none-speaking part, stalking around as the blood-drenched Angel of Death, in a slightly unexpected development, though it isn't that unwelcome- he has a menace to him that works far better when he remains silent.
The film relies heavily upon flashbacks to hint at what might have happened, and the survivors involvement in the cause of the Armageddon as well, but they become tiresome after the first few, and are often just the same sequences repeated periodically, which grates enormously. This would be slightly less catastrophic if it weren't for the fact that the flashbacks are necessary for piecing together exactly what is going on. Bit by bit, they eventually reveal that the survivors are linked in a way that their memory loss hadn't allowed them to see, and as each flashback is extended they paint a picture that suggests that the film actually has a good idea at its heart, which is sadly lost in the quagmire of its technical atrocity.
That idea is the simple suggestion that neither we nor the characters are looking for answers, but are in fact seeking the wrong question. The device of unveiling the reveal in the flashbacks, and turns from the 28 Days Later alike it looks like to start with into a more complex psychological thriller as it develops. Sadly, as it develops the idea gets lost as the pace dies off and there is simply no ignoring the lack of technical ability in almost every facet of the movie: there is just too much in terms of half-hearted genre material and its difficult not to see it all as a bit ridiculous. Oh, and the reveal ending isn't as breathtakingly revelatory as the film-makers obviously believe it is.
Long and short of it- The Last Seven is an okay idea let down by terrible, terrible acting, an atrocious script, and poor clumsy execution that seems to lose focus and direction by the end (whoever did the editing needs immediately firing). If it has an enduring merit, it is that people will flock to it when they discover that Danny Dyer is playing the fucking Angel of Death- I still haven't been able to close my mouth out of disbelief yet.
The one lasting thing I learned from the film is that if a member of your rag-tag group of survivors does indeed have a possession episode and blacks out, the best place to take him in a supermarket is the Jam and Cereal aisle. Not the pharmacy.
The Last Seven is on limited U.K. release now before hitting DVD and Blu Ray on Monday.