I read a newspaper report yesterday that said all women hate men with beards. I've never laughed so hard in my whole life. As a man with a beard myself I know how brilliant they are for trapping the ladies. They just love to run their fingers through it and if they're lucky they might even find a little surprise in there like an escaped cornflake or two. Beard's are such generous little honey pots. Do you know who else loves a good beard? Hollywood that's who. I'm no statistician but if I were to guess I'd say that 98 percent of all movies feature a beard or are directed by a man (or woman) with facial hair. There's a reason for this. There is no better device to aid you in thinking or musing than a beard. Beards have other uses too. They can keep you warm. They can be used to conceal weapons when you find yourself throwing down in a street fight and they can help you get over the loss of a beloved pet by acting as a stroking surrogate. In honour of beards I've decided to look at five of the very best from Hollywood's long history. The Academy are never going to create an award for Best Beard so damn it it's up to me to give them the recognition they deserve.