5 Reasons Neville Longbottom is a Better Wizard Than Gandalf
I believe I can justify Neville Longbottom, the well-meaning fool from the Harry Potter series, as a stronger candidate for wizarding greatness than Gandolf.
So after going borderline 'proper journalism' with my Biggest Films of 2012 series I thought I would return to what I do moderately well and create a throwaway piece for people in a bunker in China to laugh at once and other people to get angered by; and why not start with one of my great movie vices. Being that Gandalf is one of the crappest wizards around. So much so that I believe I can justify Neville Longbottom, the well-meaning fool from the Harry Potter series, as a stronger candidate for wizarding greatness than him. Disclaimer: This is purely going off of the movie adaptations of these characters, so if someone much more committed to research than me says Actually in the books... I have no responsibility for what frustration I will launch in your direction.
1. Neville has better spell variety
Despite the well marketed idea that Gandalf is a complete and utter magical bad ass, he comes across to me as little more than a high market electrician... Or a step-dad who thinks he can do DIY. The only notable spells he contributes to the group are nice little light shows when they are in dark mines or theyre being chased by monstrous looking bats. Though, admittedly, useful at the time. They dont require a lot of ability. For example Harry Potter characters, including Neville, were lighting the dark from the 3rd year, at the age of 13. Beyond that we see Neville elaborate on his ability the further they go on using the spells Stupefy (which would stupefy an opponent), expelliarmus (which would expel an item, typically a wand, from a persons arm), petrificus totalus (which totally petrifies people...God J.K Rowling has an imagination on her doesnt she?). All in all, in a fight, you want Neville there before Gandalf.
2. Neville gives better advice
We all remember it, that part in Deathly Hallows Part 2, just after fans of the books have stopped crying, just after fans of continuity have stopped ramming needles into their eyes because HARRY AND HIS MUMS EYES DONT SODDING MATCH, where Neville stands in front of Voldemort and issues the harrowing war speech It doesn't matter that Harry's gone. People die every day. Friends, family. Yeah, we still lost Harry tonight. He's still with us, in here [gestures to chest]. Fred, Remus, Tonks... they didn't die in vain. But YOU will. 'Cause you're wrong! Harry's heart did beat for us! For all of us! It's not over! What inspiration! What valour! Also what helpful knowledge, People die every day, but it doesnt matter, what a nice message for people worrying about death of family members, its incredible stuff. What does Gandalf offer us? If in doubt, always follow your nose. ... Now I dont mean to be pedantic here, but I dont have a sense of smell, if I was on a dangerous quest and I followed my nose in a time of difficulty I would end up in the exact same place. Also I cant help but think that if you were nasally able and wanted to find Mordor it wouldnt be useful to follow the most pungent of smells as after 8 years of trying you would just be thinking Dammit, why do I keep ending up at manure factories?. All in all Gandalf, you arent helping anyone. A wise and helpful wizard is one that people can get behind and believe in, this is what makes Neville better as Gandalf fails to gain peoples belief by offering unhelpful and misleading whimsy as supposed advice.
3. Neville offers to help
On countless occasions throughout the series, Neville is always there offering to help the main trio of Harry, Hermione and Ron who rather flippantly and arrogantly turn him down. No fault of his own, an ability to accept rejection is what makes him Neville and so gracious. To the contrary, Gandalf enjoys sending off unprepared short people on death involving quests whilst he goes and relaxes with a scenic view of the mountains around Isengaard. Neville is selfless, a quality that all wizards need, Gandalf is rather lazy and flippant about the things he feels need to be done, just not by himself.
4. Neville does it in style
Im not a fashionable person. I currently write this in a sonic the hedgehog t-shirt, a hoody and red checked pyjama bottoms. However one look at the knitwear section of the Topman website tells me that Neville is the height of indie fashion (Topmans indie right?) because its not only necessary to battle dark forces, but its imperative that you do it in style to optimise your bad ass credentials. Wolverine in his leather jacket, Ryan Gosling in Drive, Ash Ketchum in Pokemon, all dress to impress and are the more impressive and believable heroes because of it. Just like Neville is here, he crackles with an impression of current fashion knowledge and is therefore more believable because of it. On the other hand Gandalf resorts to old wizarding cliché of just wearing robes and accepting their colour as part of his name....Come on now Gandalf, try harder.
5. Neville overcame quite a lot
Havent not experienced it myself Im in no real place to judge, however I imagine having your parents tortured into insanity by a mad haired Helena Bonham Carter as a baby might have been slightly traumatic and have the ability to put you off the wizarding. Yet Neville overcame that because of a belief in himself and desire for vengeance which lets him inspires more wizards everywhere. What has Gandalf done? Well yes he may have overcome death, yet he says himself hes been sent back until his task is done... So it seems to me that even the forces governing death and the afterlife think Gandalf needs to stop setting other people tasks and pull his finger out. There you have it; conclusive proof that Neville is a better wizard than Gandalf (and I have too much time on my hands).