An article like this can go one of two ways. The first is an attempt to legitimately predict what happened after the credits rolled based entirely on where the action and story was heading. That requires a lot of detailed thought about characters and outcomes. The second approach (and the one I have taken) is a bit more light-hearted speculation. If you came here looking for serious, detailed film analysis, let me apologize in advance. If, however, you want to feel superior to someone by reading wild, nearly baseless theories about famous movie characters, I'm your man. For those of you wanting to know the testing conditions of this clearly scientific film study, it should be noted that I have completely disregarded, where applicable, made-for-television or direct-to-video (or direct-to-DVD, I guess) sequels. Moreover, I've excluded any movies based on real people because that'd just be too easy, and even I have some pride. Without further ado, my predictions of the terrible fates that probably await 5 famous movie characters.