9 Scary Movies You're Too Pussy To Watch By Yourself This Halloween
Prove us wrong. We double dare you.
Hey, pussy. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Don't look behind you, there's no one there. It's just you and me, namby-pamby and we're going to have a frank little discussion about scary movies. ...Oh. Oh, wait. Never mind, there actually is someone behind you. That's weird. I didn't see them there before. I wonder if you locked your--OH GOD IT'S GETTING CLOSER! RUN!!!
That right there is the epitome of what too many horror movies have come to showcase in this day and age. Top to bottom, most offer nothing more than jump scares and bad exposition. The horror movie landscape has been mostly slashed to pieces, with too many by-the-numbers "scares" numbing the senses of scary moviegoers. But recently, there's been a low scale renaissance, with dark, innovative, and truly twisted horror films making their way out of the darkness.
Consider these the Requiem For a Dreams of scary movies. Because there's no way in hell you're putting yourself through them more than once. If that. And honestly, it's kind of difficult to tell whether or not the filmmakers intended these movies to even be entertainment, or if they were just fed up with horror fans and wanted to rid them all of their sanity while making them wish they'd been born without eyes. So how about it, pansy? Are you up to the task?