DVD Review: Kill Keith
Never again will the silver screen be graced with the presence of Keith Chegwin, Tony Blackburn and Joe Pasquale together in one movie. Does Kill Keith live up to its epic potential ?
rating: 1.0
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When you first lay your eyes on the DVD case for Kill Keith (depicting TV's Keith Chegwin in Uma Thurmans Kill Bill garb and wielding a samurai sword) you really hope that what lies within will be gloriously inspired rather than unspeakably awful. Lets face it, the idea of a slasher movie starring various TV-AM Z-listers being killed off by an unknown Breakfast Cereal Killer is a fun idea, no matter how cringeworthy. Sadly, Kill Keith squanders any of its potential novelty value by being a confused and unfunny mess, which is somehow far worse on screen than it possibly ever sounded on paper. Marc Pickering stars as Danny, a clumsy but well-intentioned runner on a breakfast TV show hosted by glamorous presenter Dawn (Susanna Fielding). Crudely named The Crack of Dawn - a gag once used in The Office to highlight David Brents idiocy - the hit show is co-hosted by the arrogant Cliff (David Easter), who is preparing to leave the show under a whirlwind of publicity. However, all of this is quickly overshadowed by a string of grisly murders, with the nations TV personalities being gruesomely killed off by a masked assailant. Will Danny and Dawn get together ? Will the killer be apprehended ? Will this tripe ever end ? Aside from the amateurish production values, cheap special effects and flat humour, Kill Keiths problems stem mostly from its tiresome script. The plot never feels cohesive, often sporadically shifting in tone between a gory slasher film and a dull romantic comedy, stuffed to the brim with dumb sex gags that Robin Askwith would have balked at. Its even possible to forget while watching Kill Keith that theres supposed to a serial killer on the loose, as it spends a torturous amount of time with a far less interesting romantic subplot between Danny, Dawn and a pair of comedy knickers.