REVIEW: NO STRINGS ATTACHED, You Really Can Avoid This Weary Film!
rating: 2
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(John Nugent's review re-posted as the film is released in the U.K. today) Before we begin, its important for you to know that I approached No Strings Attached, the new romantic comedy starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, with a consciously open mind. Knowing that I, as gender stereotypes dictate, would not be in the target audience, I nonetheless wanted to watch this film as objectively as I could. Ill go further: I wanted to like it. I didnt want to be the same old sneering, cynical critic. I wanted No Strings Attached to be the rom-com that turned the genre around, the one that explained the infinite trail of bland repetitive mediocrity behind it, the one that suddenly made sense of the ugly, cheesy, cringey history of cinematic romantic comedy, like the Lost finale you wished theyd made. I genuinely wanted to love it, I promise you, but they made it very bloody hard for me. I was hopeful, too - in the directors chair was one Ivan Reitman, of Ghostbusters acclaim (sure, he hasnt made a decent movie in twenty years, and son Jason has largely eclipsed his achievements, but still...). Reitman is correctly hailed as a directing and producing legend. But it would seem his comic sensibilities have failed him in his old age. How else to explain this quite astonishing work of banality, predictability and spine-crushing vacuum of comedy? Quite simply, its rubbish. Just rubbish. Reitman is slavishly faithful to the romcom handbook, a blueprint which reasons, if it aint broke, dont fix it! Or, even if it is broke, dont bother improving it! The twist here is that our two heroes, after a one-off teenage encounter, meet again years later and decide to have a friends with benefits relationship, a mutual arrangement of regular casual sex. They agree to not let things get serious. But then...oh, come on, you know what happens. Boy meets, loses and subsequently gets girl in an oh-so-unsurprising turn of events.