Shaun Says Angelina Jolie & Johnny Depp’s THE TOURIST Lacks Sex Appeal
rating: 2.5
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Remember that classic scene in Thank You For Smoking, when Aaron Eckhart's deliciously slimy tobacco lobbyist Nick Naylor pitches a sexy, cigarette-plugging scene for an upcoming movie? He envisions the world's two most attractive stars making love, before each lights up a post-coital cigarette. The Tourist, a new thriller starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie - oft cited as the two most desirable people on the planet - could have brought Naylor's vision to life; it certainly has the beauteous leads and more than enough cigarettes to go around, yet incredibly, it fails to be at all sexy, fun, or exciting. Elise (Jolie) is a mysterious woman romantically involved with an international fugitive, Alexander Pearce, who owes vast sums of cash to a very dangerous group of gangsters. When she receives a letter from him, requesting that she find a man of similar physical presence to himself to set up as a fall guy for the authorities, she decides upon Frank Taylor (Depp), a recently widowed maths teacher who cannot believe his luck to see this beautiful woman taking an interest. Of course, Frank soon realises the true nature of the exchange, and must not only escape the gangster thugs who have taken a bounty out on his life, but also Scotland Yard, led by obsessive cop Ascheson (Paul Bettany). The Tourist is at its simplest a cynical case of lazy filmmaking, though it's somewhat surprising given the typically robust work ethic of all involved; director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck previously helmed the Oscar-winning masterpiece The Lives of Others, while Depp and Jolie's track records speak for themselves. That any of the three would sign onto such an obviously inadequate project without demanding massive rewrites is mind-boggling, for this is a film with the look and feel of Hitchcock, but neither the heart or soul. Donnersmarck's stately direction - admittedly providing some gorgeous views of Venice - positions the film as a classy, sure-to-be-sexy outing that's light on its feet and oozing charm from the outset. However, aside from the fact that the narrative is essentially a shallow smattering of at least four Hitchcock classics, the direction, unaided by the iffy script, in fact comes off as rather cold and clinical, hermetically sealing Depp and Jolie inside a joyless plot which eagerly keeps the two away from each other and too often off-screen.